Noel/Noelle!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

The house is almost all decorated! We are anxiously awaiting Santa's first trip to our house.

Noelle even has a tree in her room, complete with lights and a pink tree skirt. 

2/3

In your first year of life, there's much less to go than the amount of days that have passed. At 2/3 of a year old, you are a babbling, bouncing, beautiful baby girl who lights up our lives, which is the lamest way to say that your birth is the most amazing "thing" that has ever happened to us.

Holding you close and kissing your sweet cheeks makes me realize that, though I want to expand our family someday, you are all I will ever need to feel complete.

This time of year is full of magic, excitement, surprises, love, family, friends, music, great food, sparkling ornaments, twinkling lights, the fantasy of Santa, and the reality of Jesus's love...and your sweet name represents all of those beautiful things. We chose your name for you because we want you to have the spirit of Christmas in you always, all year, all of your life.

With each new milestone you reach, I praise you openly but think to myself, "Slow down, Baby Girl." The older you get, the farther apart the milestones will be, but they will become greater and more momentous...such as learning to drive, taking the SAT, graduating college, getting married, having a child of your own. My biggest wish is that I am with you all the way, still praising you and still wishing that you would slow down.

You are not yet able to speak what you feel, but I truly believe you have the sweetest heart. Just by the way you look at us, look at others, and others look at you...I feel how sincere, genuine, and beautiful you are on the inside.

At 8 months of age, I already know that you will have no problem fulfilling the beauty of your name.

I'm so proud of you. (but slow down, Baby Girl)

This week...

This week...

I spent two nights at my parents' house in Muncie to save a late-night trip back to Indy. Luke and Noelle stayed, too. It's nice to be around family.

I had dinner with a friend who I hadn't seen in a long while, and we had great conversation.

I ordered tickets for Luke and I to see Cats at Clowes Hall on November 27th!

I ran two miles without stopping as part of week 5 of Couch to 5K.

I registered for that 5K I will be running on December 11 (Jingle Bell Run). Luke is running, too.

I took pictures of a sweet 6 month old.

I watched in amazement as our daughter turned 8 months old. Teddy Bear picture to follow soon!

All in all, a good week. :-)

Plan B

So...I had this fabulous post about Noelle and how great she has been the last few days and how I have memories that would bring tears to your eyes. I also have documentation of her first bites of chicken. However, for some reason, Blogger failed me at the end of my post and lost all of my writing. I am mad, so you will have to read my Christmas list instead. Two reasons. 1) It is almost Christmas. Yes, it is. Snap out of the denial. 2) A list is easier to write than an essay about my precious girl after a long day of teaching and spell bowl coaching.

I feel like I "want" a lot, but know that I "need" nothing...so I am kind of looking at different things this year.Of course, I have that little pipe dream that "Santa" will drop an iPad into my lap or get me that Le'Vian Chocolate Diamond ring I have been eyeing...but I know that is not realistic, possible, or even reasonable.

So...Santa, if you have Internet at the North Pole and are frequenting this bliggity blog...take notes.

1.  Pioneer Woman Cooks cookbook

2. Philosophy Purity Made Simple face wash...extra large size w/ pump

3. TVP Necklace (with You Are Worth It All around the edge and N in the middle)

4. A gift card for The Loft to go toward a pretty dress for Luke's graduation.

That's it for now. Maybe more later.

Here's your sign...

So today, I decided, I would not be a fatty. 

I made good choices with food.

I went to Zumba, even though it was as dark as 3 a.m. outside and I was in general in a feel-sorry-for-myself mood. 

And, I kid you not, I woke up and the first thing I thought was, "I need a McDonald's sausage biscuit."

Can you see how I have problems losing weight?

But...no sausage biscuit for me today. It was all Fiber One and a lean pocket and sandwich thins and Wendy's chili and a baked potato (not all for breakfast!...now that would make me fatty, and remember the sign...? no fatties). 

Baby girl will be 9 months old in about a month. What I wouldn't give to see those last baby fat lbs melt away just in time for the holidays...and just in time for me to celebrate having my baby girl outside of me for as long as she was on the inside. 

No fatties...you hear? 

GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, ASHLEY!

Oh, hiiiiiiii.

Do you know that I have started a mental list (soon to be a physical, paper list) of all the blog entries I need to write? Such items on the list include why politicians suck, and therefore the education system sucks, my anxiety about the big RESIDENCY decision and how that is going to end up screwing me no matter how it shakes out, and my obsession with Diet Coke. But for now...I choose to write about my big, fat ass.

I am in a lazy slump. I have started putting on my hibernating weight for the winter. My body thinks it is a bear. I am having a lot of difficulty getting these last 10 lbs off from the baby weight. I am getting discouraged and annoyed. I go to Zumba as much as I can, but sometimes I find it upsetting to go and check out all the bodies that look so good, rather than allowing it to motivate me.

I know I am just in a funk, and that if I really "wanted" to, I could do it. I know that it is my own decisions and choices that have brought me here today, but I just can't seem to shake it.

My friend Allison and I used to say that we were self-sabotagers. We intentionally screwed ourselves over in the weight-loss department so that we couldn't be happy. Am I still doing this today at 26.5 years old? Is there something holding me back and keeping me from wanting to be happy deep down inside?

Am I just a lazy loser, destined to be on Hoarders or Maury where they have to cut people out of their homes?

I suppose if I had to choose...I would choose Hoarders.

We are lucky.

We don't have lots of money.

We don't have a large house.

Luke doesn't have a functioning CD player in his car or a working gas gauge.

The damn cleaning lady didn't show up for the thousandth day in a row...

But we are lucky.

I don't know if I will have a job next year.

We don't know where we will be living next year.

We don't know where Luke will be placed for residency next year.

But we are lucky.

And I will force myself to believe this if it kills me.

We are lucky because Noelle is healthy and happy.

We are lucky because we have a heated home this winter.

We are lucky because we have each other.

We are lucky because this will ((hopefully)) be the roughest and most stressful time of our lives, and if that turns out to be true, we truly are lucky.