25 Minutes

I promised myself that when Baby Charlotte arrived I would get back to blogging regularly so as to document life's happenings as a mother of two. She's 5 days old and currently enjoying a milk coma, so I thought I would take advantage of the time to write about quite possibly one of the most terrifying and downright crazy nights of my life.

October 14, 2012

With our scheduled induction to take place Monday morning, Luke and I enjoyed a weekend of time with his family and a dinner date to Johnny Carino's. We visited a pumpkin patch with all the kids and took in the beautiful fall weather. We watched Notre Dame win and the Colts lose (a pretty normal combo this football season), and we tried to soak up as much time with our sweet Noelle as we could. We knew we were down to the final hours of being a family of 3, which was part exciting and part sad.

I wasn't feeling great on Sunday morning, partly because I was up from about 1-4 a.m. feeling a lot of back pain and pressure. Charlotte was very active and agitated, which prevented me from sleeping and causing me to question every little move of hers. I was finally able to get myself relaxed enough to sleep, but the restlessness took its toll on me and left me at home while Luke took Noelle to church with the family. It took me a few hours that morning to get up and moving, feeling sore and achey and more than a little whiney.

I managed to find enough energy to go out to Luke's parents' house for a bit. After a few hours, we were all exhausted and ready to settle in for our last night as just the three of us. We stopped to pick up a quick dinner at Noodles and Company and made our way back to our house.

It was about 6:30 p.m. and my tailbone was really hurting, so I decided to take a hot shower and see if I felt better. An hour later, I was already in bed and trying to kill the pain with a hot rice bag. After laying down for a while, I started to notice a little pattern in the spasms I was feeling in my low back. It did seem that they had a certain rhythmic timing-- starting around 6 minutes a part.

I had downloaded a contraction timer app on my phone a couple months back when I started having Braxton Hicks contractions all the time. What I was feeling on Sunday night were nothing that I recognized as contractions. After all, I have experienced true labor contractions before and would certainly know them when I felt them...right? Well, I was amused by the pattern of this back pain, so I started to log the waves of spasms in the contraction timer. By about 8:15, these "spasms" were getting stronger and coming about every 90 seconds to 2 minutes.

Then it hit me.

I was in labor.

Shit.

Luke would come in to check on me and I would be just a little more uncomfortable each time. Finally, he walked in on me rocking back and forth on all fours on the ground, and he knew it, too.

Panic hit me pretty hard as I realized that we needed to leave for the hospital immediately if we had any chance of having the baby in Indy. Luke's mom was due to arrive at our house to stay the night so we could leave for our induction the next morning, but she wasn't there yet and Noelle was fast asleep. As we were frantically throwing last minute necessities into travel bags and exchanging wide-eyed and panicky looks with each other, the pain began to get so intense that my main emotion at that point was fear. Fear that we wouldn't make it to Indy. Fear that we wouldn't even make it to Ball. Fear that I was going to have this baby in my own house.

I made a call to my mom and dad at 9:00 and told them to get to our house now because it was time. In the 5-8 minutes it took for them to arrive, we loaded the car and went back and forth with "Are we going to Indy or do we need to go to Ball?" As the pain and INTENSE pressure worsened with every minute, I told Luke we had to go to Ball. My parents arrived and we exchanged very few words. We simply got in the car and drove to Ball...the place I was avoiding throughout my entire pregnancy. I wasn't avoiding it for any reason other than the fact that I didn't want to be put in the vulnerable position of giving birth in front of any of Luke's colleagues or directors or anyone else he knew. Not to mention we really wanted our original OB to deliver Charlotte. That, and the fact that Community North is basically a luxury hotel and nothing compares aesthetically.

However, none of that mattered in the 5 minute ride to the hospital as I turned into your standard screaming, laboring pregnant lady. I remember screaming in pain, yelling things like "I'm scared" and "Help me" and "We aren't going to make it." I know this sounds dramatic and silly, but to be honest, these were my truest feelings at the time. I can't even put into words how incredibly scared I was.

Luke called ahead to the labor and delivery floor to tell them we were coming and to be waiting for us with a wheelchair. We pulled into the circle drive of the emergency room entrance and two nurses and one of Luke's fellow residents were there with a chair waiting to transport me to the 4th floor.

They knew the urgency and literally sprinted me through hallways and to the elevator as fast as they could, asking me various items of information along the way...my social security number, my blood type, my allergies. People waiting to be seen in the ER stared as they raced me past, and I had never been more relieved to see the elevator.

We made our way to the floor and they took me to the room. I didn't even know that Luke hadn't been with us. He was parking the car and doing his own race through the halls to get to me in time, hurdling a few chairs along the way. Thankfully, he came in behind us and was able to be there for the birth of our baby girl, which happened approximately 5 minutes after.

More panic hit me as I realized that there would be no chance for an epidural and I would be doing this the old fashioned way. I remember saying how I couldn't do it and I remember everyone saying that I could. I did do it...a true testament to the fact that you will do what you have to do in the moment to get the job done.

It hurt. Not gonna lie.

About three good, hard pushes was all it took to give life to my second daughter-- a far cry from the four hours of seemingly endless pushing with Noelle. From start to finish, 25 minutes was it...from the 9:00 phone call to my parents to the 9:25 delivery. I don't think we even left our house until 9:10 and didn't arrive at the hospital until 9:15. I can't decide if those were the longest 25 minutes or the shortest 25 minutes of my life-- probably a little bit of both.

Waves of shock hit us both as we looked at each other in disbelief. "Did that really happen?" I managed to say multiple times, along with "It wasn't supposed to be like this." And it wasn't supposed to be like that. She was supposed to be born the next day. We were supposed to have her in Indy. She was supposed to have been delivered by Dr. Ertel. I was supposed to have an epidural for the love of God. However, for as much that went "wrong" or not according to plan that evening, so much went right.

Charlotte didn't have to spend any time in the NICU (unlike Noelle), which meant that I got the moment I always wanted to have-- they put her on my stomach seconds after her birth, and Luke got to cut her cord. She was never taken out of our room following the delivery, and we bonded with her right away. These things were luxuries to us-- things we didn't get to do the first time.

I am so incredibly thankful for those two nurses and Dr. Anderson who were there to help us that night.  I am thankful that we didn't try to head to Indianapolis only to have our baby on the side of I-69. I am of course so thankful for Luke who was always calm and never showed any fear if he had any.

And tonight, I'm thanking God for another  beautiful baby girl who will no doubt have a life full of adventure and spirit given her entrance into the world.

Charlotte Scout, we love you and your sister so much.

Playing Catch-Up

I can't believe it has been over a month since I last posted. I used to be so devoted to keeping this blog updated, and I used to really love reading blogs. I still do, but I get so overwhelmed when I start that I usually just go to Facebook. It's a really exciting life I live.

Let's see, what's new with me? I am currently attempting to save the world, one student at a time. I think the school year has started off well, but I am completely distraught over the fact that I don't have a maternity leave substitute yet, and I don't have all of the information ready to give to my "maternity leave sub." I want to put together a binder of all the important things he/she needs to know while I am gone for 12 weeks, but I haven't had time to do that yet.

I suppose I feel a sense of urgency because at my 32 week appointment last week, I basically had to convince the nurse practitioner (I didn't get to see my doc because she was already scheduled full) to check me to see if I was dilating (which is a really gruesome word and I hate using it) yet. I have been feeling nonstop pressure down low and a lot of contractions, so I was just curious. I was having flashbacks of my pregnancy with Noelle when I was 7 cm dilated at 38 weeks and 2 days later they induced me. So, she checked me, only to find that I was already 3 cm....yes, at 32 weeks. Of course it is too early, and it's not even anything to get excited about because if the baby is trying to come early, she is WAYYYY too early.

I go back to the doctor on Tuesday of next week, and I'm wondering if she will check me again. I am also wondering if I will have progressed further. My biggest "wonder" is what she will tell me if I am progressing. Will she tell me I need to go on bed rest? Will she give me some sort of medicine to helps stop contractions? Will she let me be and just tell me to wait it out? I don't know...but I am nervous and oh-so-thankful that Luke can come with me this time. The last time, after the 3 cm scare, I was put on the fetal monitor for about 20 minutes. I was all alone and scared and nervous and going through all of the "what ifs" in my head.

So, all of those things aside, I am really, really excited for this weekend. Saturday is going to be "Baby Preparedness Day." Luke is finally off on a Saturday and we have planned for this day to be the one when we pack hospital bags, bring down baby gear from the attic, get the nursery all ready to go, wash bedding and blankets, and do all of the things we have neglected to do for the past 8 months.

Then...Sunday marks my final (LAST ONE!!!!!!!) photo session before my leave begins. I never thought this day would come. Honestly, I love my photography business and am SOOOOOO thankful for all my clients, but I am so ready for a big ol' break. I haven't set a return date yet, but it will probably be Feb/March of 2013, provided we survive the apocalypse. I am so excited for all the free weekends I will have. It's going to be amazing!!!!

It's now 8:30 and I am ready for bed! Tired doesn't begin to describe how I feel right now. Even Noelle passed out an hour earlier than normal. I think that's a sign that I should, too.

Charlotte Update

So, this pregnancy will go down in history as the least documented event in life. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but compared to Noelle's when I was documenting everything, every week, I have now become what I promised I wouldn't...forgetting to take belly bump pictures, forgetting to write things down, forgetting to give Charlotte the 5 star treatment I gave her big sister. This makes me sad, but I can't go back in time and redo what I have missed, so I guess I will just give an update to ease my own guilt.

I am close to 27 weeks pregnant right now. I really can't believe that because I feel like it took an eternity to get to this point with Noelle, and these past 27 weeks (well, 24-ish since I found out) have just zoomed by. Being busy with Noelle, photography, and life in general has accounted for the time warp feeling, and I wish I could just take it all in a little more. Before I know it, this will be over, and I will be a mother to two precious girls (insert excited squeal!), but I know I will miss the pregnancy.

I have always been blessed with "easy" pregnancies. I don't get morning sickness. I don't have health complications (knock on wood). I don't get so tired that I can't move or function or take care of myself and/or others. I don't have weird cravings or aversions. I simply function as a normal human growing another human inside. No big deal. I chalk it up to simply not allowing myself the time to think about feeling like crap...because there are days when I don't feel up to par...but I just can't think about it. There's too much to do in a day. This is not to say that women who suffer from all of the above are weaker than me or that they throw themselves pity parties all day (because believe me I would if I did have all of the nasty pregnancy symptoms), I'm just saying this is what I do and it works for me.

Charlotte moves a ton. She loves to be active in the evening and while I am sleeping. She moves twice as much as Noelle ever did. Noelle moved just enough to let me know that she was OK. Charlotte moves constantly. I don't know what this means for us for when she is born, but I'm loving her active personality already.

I'm big. I think I have gained less weight so far in this pregnancy, but I started about 15 pounds heavier than I did with Noelle, so I feel like I look about 6 weeks ahead of where I should. I am self conscious about this and really don't like my picture taken this time around (which probably explains the "forgetting" of the belly bump pictures). I am looking forward to having Charlotte so that I can begin the process of losing this pregnancy's weight as well as Noelle's. I have a goal of losing 50 pounds. I shared this goal with Luke over our anniversary dinner at Cheesecake Factory, after we had an appetizer, entree, and dessert (cheesecake!). Of course that would be problem #1.... a 3 course meal, but it was our anniversary and I'm still pregnant. So there.

We have begun the process of combining Noelle and Charlotte's rooms. We have picked up some art for the walls, gone through Noelle's clothes from 0-3 months and put them in the dresser, and we are slowly but surely making room for baby. We have loads of baby gear to bring down from the attic and get ready, but we will soon enough. It's definitely really easy to get ready for a sibling that is the same sex as the older one. It's also easier to know the sex this time around. It was fun to be surprised with Noelle, but it's been fun to know and call her by her name, too.

Speaking of her name, we have decided on Charlotte Scout Ernstberger. I have always loved the name Scout for a little girl, but I never thought I would be daring enough to use it as a first name. It doesn't really "go" with Noelle, either, which is pretty feminine looking. However, we love the balance of Charlotte Scout...girly with strong...a little tomboy mixed with frills...and we love that Scout is a character in To Kill A Mockingbird, which is Luke's mom's favorite book and my mom is an English teacher. It all fits.

I go for my glucose test next week. I'm a little nervous that I will have GD this time around, mainly because I feel fat...which is really no evidence that I have it but I definitely feel more at-risk this time around.

Once school starts, this pregnancy is going to fly by even faster. I will be so busy with school and getting things ready for my maternity leave that I will barely have time to think about anything else.

Charlotte, we are so excited and ready to meet you. We know you will be the best addition to our family. Thank you for being so easy on me and for fitting into our already-crazy life. I hope you know that even though I haven't been the  best at documenting every step of your journey that I love you so much!

Can't Hardly Wait

Oh hai....

Who has 2 thumbs and a baby with a heartbeat in the 160s? This girl! We had the 15/16 week appointment today, and 2.0 seems to be doing pretty well. I think next time I am going to make my doctor earn her pay by asking some weird questions and coming up with some crazy complaints because as of now, she barely has to do a thing! We go in, she puts the doppler on, we hear the baby cruising, and then she says "Any questions?" I never do...so...see ya in 4 weeks!

This next time, however, in 4 weeks....we get to have the BIG ULTRASOUND! Yippee!!!! I technically could have it in 3 weeks, but Luke made me wait a week so that our regular OB appointment and the ultrasound would be on the same day so as to save on the trips to Indy. Boo! I kind of wanted to punch him for making me wait another week, but I decided to take one for the team.

So, June 5 is the day! I am so excited and ready to know what this little human is inside of me. I feel like I am a total monster with this pregnancy-- obsessing over the sex of the baby and just acting like my arm will in fact fall off if I don't find out. I was so cool, calm, and collected with Noelle and we didn't even find out!

Anywho, that's about all that's newsworthy here. School is wrapping up, life is winding down, the baby's growing everyday, and I ate a giant baked potato for dinner. See...allllll that's newsworthy.

It's official!

I have felt the little one move a few times now. At first I was in denial and thought it wasn't humanly possible to feel the baby this early yet, but after a few days of it, I am now convinced that we have a little Olympic athlete growing inside.

I always said that after I had Noelle, what I missed the most about being pregnant was feeling her kick and move. I didn't feel Noelle move until well after my 20th week of pregnancy. To feel it already at 12-13 weeks, I feel blessed! I am so excited to be on this journey again and am ready for everything that is to come.

Other than that, there really isn't much to talk about. I am anxiously awaiting the end of school with less than 4 weeks to go now. I am SO ready for a break and to rest my mind and body for a little bit.

OK-- I guess there is something else to talk about. I don't want to open a can of worms, but since this is my blog, I feel that I have permission-- but lately on Facebook there have been not just one, but several, of my friends posting about how teachers (I'm paraphrasing) are whiners and need to just shut up or quit. Someone put a picture up of an extremely outdated letter from 1994 where a teacher was reprimanding a student for correcting her (albeit in a disrespectful way) because she was wrong in something she told the class. This inspired a lot of hateful comments about how this is what's wrong with schools TODAY (Hello...1994...) and why they chose to homeschool their children because teachers "don't know what the Hell they are teaching."

I wanted to comment so badly on those posts and really lay it out there, but the general consensus I was gathering was that really no one would see it from my point of view. After all, I have a very easy job where all I do is babysit and get to leave at 3:00 and get summers, spring breaks, Christmas breaks, random 3 day weekends, 2 hour delays, snow days, etc. Who would want to hear about how I actually do work extremely hard, all through the year, whether I am in my classroom or not. That I spend COUNTLESS hours and dollars of my own money on my students, classroom, lessons, etc. My day does not end when I walk out of school (typically never at 3:00, usually closer to 5:00 which is when most "normal" people leave their jobs). I lug home a bag of papers to grade each night and have the internal struggle of do I miss out on time with my child and/or my husband to grade these things (that will most likely end up shoved in a child's backpack never to be seen by the parent anyway) or should I just wait until tomorrow.

I don't really need to mention how difficult it is to deal with parents who think you're the enemy, students who are apathetic, students who struggle no matter how hard to try to help them, new demands from the state which includes a grand total of about 3 whole school weeks of ISTEP testing, plus an additional 4 weeks per year of Acuity testing (which is basically like an ISTEP, but doesn't "count" against you in the state's eyes), which leaves very little time to get material taught in a way that is meaningful to the students.

Let's not forget about how now with the new teacher effectiveness model, if even one of my 25 students does not show "growth" from the previous year's ISTEP test, (which is all that shows a student has grown, right?), I automatically cannot receive a highly effective rating, and because of that, I may not ever make more than what I make right now, which, in case you were wondering, isn't a whole lot. Because I didn't start my masters by last summer, I no longer have the chance to earn it and be paid accordingly for my extra education. Therefore, there's no incentive to learn more and get a masters degree, but yet I still have to renew my license every 5 years by taking college classes and/or doing other requirements.

I have never, ever wanted anyone to feel sorry for me in the profession I chose and for the most part, enjoy. However, I would have expected a little more respect for the work that I (and my teaching colleagues) do, and a little less resentment over the summer break that I do feel I have earned. If we need to stop complaining or quit...then I would invite the haters to stop hating or get your teacher's license.

13 Weeks!

With one week left in the first trimester, I am feeling pretty great and can't complain about this pregnancy! I am of course very tired and like to be in bed early most nights, but I also attribute my fatigue to having a 2 year old running around, working long days, working the weekends and weeknights with photo sessions & editing, and trying to cook meals and be an active participant in my life. 

There have been a few mornings where I have thought I felt the baby pitter-pattering away in there. When my belly is empty and I'm laying on my tummy, I can feel the butterfly sensation. It was about this time that I thought I felt "something" with Noelle, though I am still not sure if I really did or not. I will no doubt be able to feel the baby moving in about 6 weeks, which really excites me. 

We are extra excited because, since we are finding out the sex of the baby this time, our gender ultrasound will be here around the end of May. We can't WAIT to find out what this baby is. In fact, I am absolutely dying to know. I can't wait to take Noelle to the ultrasound with us and show her what the baby looks like on the inside. She talks about the baby a lot and even says she dreams about "Baby Charlotte," which is 99% likely going to be the name if she's a girl. 

As far as weight and belly watch-- I think I am developing a little bump, but of course it is camouflaged by my already existing gut pooch. Ugh. I can't wait for about another 4 weeks when I will probably pop out a little more and people can stop giving me the look of "Are you, or aren't you?" I haven't gained anything as far as the scale tells me, so that is a plus. I even made it to the gym (once) this week. Go me...?

There's not a bunch more to say at this point, except for my BabyCenter app says the baby looks like a shrimp. Which kinda freaks me out if we're being honest. Yipes.

In with the new!

Ever since we found out that we were going to have Baby #2, I have been so busy thinking about the changes that we will need to make to our home to get ready for the new life coming into the world. Of course, Luke probably rolls his eyes on the inside and openly says, "We have everything we need! Who cares if we have a boy? He can sleep in a pink room. All he needs is a blanket and a white onesie."

That ain't gonna work, Hunny.

We have a 3 bedroom home. We very much need the 3rd bedroom as a craft room/office space/extra crap room, so we can't give the babies their own rooms yet. I wish we could, but we can't. The baby will be in our room for probably the first 3 months like we did with Noelle, and hopefully this will help keep Noelle asleep if the baby wakes up in the middle of the night. However, once the baby gets bigger, he or she will need to bunk up with big sister. Let the fun begin!

Noelle's room is a pink paradise right now. It is so girly. If it's a boy...Heaven help him. Needless to say, I am hoping we have a little sister brewing in the belly, but of course I will take a healthy baby boy any day of the week. Thank GOSH we are finding out this time! Anyway-- Baby #2 will need Noelle's crib and mattress, so we have started looking at twin beds for her. I don't have interest in a toddler bed because she will only need it for such a short while. I found this really cute and cheap one on (ahem...) Walmart.com (cringe), and I think it will be really cute with her existing furniture. It has good reviews, so if we can find an inexpensive twin mattress, we will be set!

Elise Captain Twin Bed

After we had Noelle and she grew large enough to not really need her carrier in the stroller, we began seeing the necessity for a little better-built umbrella stroller. We got the $20 Target cheapie because we thought we would use the big stroller travel system a lot more, but for quick trips to the mall and walks around the neighborhood, the travel system stroller became too cumbersome and annoying. The $20 cheapie is doing well, but a few things have broken and the handles are really low so Luke doesn't like to push it...which means I have to. ;-) We went to Buy Buy Baby last week and found a really nice Chicco brand one that is a little more expensive than the $20 one, but it seems easy to steer, has some storage, and the handles are much higher (so Luke can do some pushing). I don't think we will invest in a double stroller just yet. Noelle really doesn't like to be in her stroller much anyway anymore, so I don't think she will be too into a double one. We have a jogging stroller, travel system stroller, umbrella stroller, and a bike trailer that can fit two children in it, so with this addition, we will have a nice stroller collection.

Chicco Ct0.6 Capri Stroller

My last "need" with this new baby is for something that we borrowed from friends (Hi Eichenbergers) when Noelle was a newborn. The Boppy Newborn Lounger was a God-send. To be honest, I didn't really use the Boppy and didn't care for it for nursing or for laying Noelle in it. However, the lounger was awesome. It was perfect for travel (basically like a travel crib), great for laying her down on the couch next to us or on the floor without having to be actually on the floor, and when she slept in bed with us (GASP!), it kept her elevated so that we wouldn't have something traumatic happen in the middle of the night like rolling over on top of her. I was sad to give it back. So, I look forward to purchasing my own for this child and any to come.

I'll need to find a cuter version, though!
Boppy Newborn Lounger

I am so excited for this new bundle of love...I can't think about anything else!

Just a quick note to talk about the 11 week appointment that I just had with Dr. Ertel! At first I was freaked out because she couldn't find the heartbeat right away, but she found it and it sounded glorious! It was in the 170s which is much higher then Noelle's ever was. Makes me wonder....?

Everything is going great and I am just so fortunate to have an easy pregnancy. I am also happy that at almost the 2nd trimester I haven't gained any weight. Yippee! Hopefully I can make it to another 4 week appointment without any change on the scale.

Here's to a healthy baby!

2.0

Because I can't suck it in any longer...

Below is a post I wrote about 4 weeks ago when we had our first ultrasound with this pregnancy:

There comes a time in your life when you get sick of worrying, planning, and thinking about what's next, how much money is in the bank, what's going to happen, and who's going to care about it. You can plan and think and over-think and over-analyze until you feel physical pain from it all, or you can let go and let it happen.

And by "it" I mean "life."

And by "life" I mean...

I'm pregnant.

I will not lie...I will not lie on this blog and say that we just wait for the right time to come along. We knew we wanted a new baby in our lives for a really long time, and we would have gladly accepted this gift several months ago, but regardless, we have achieved a successful pregnancy, as confirmed by the ultrasound today and the strong 173 beats per minute heart thumping away.

I am still in disbelief that we are going to be parents again. I can truly say that already we feel different than when we were expecting Noelle. I'll be 100% honest-- it's not the same "giddy with excitement, holy sh*t, what's happening?" feeling that we had with her. I have spent the better part of a month worrying myself silly over the fact that I have about 1% pregnancy symptoms and forget that I'm pregnant most of the time. I had myself convinced that we would be seeing an "empty" ultrasound like we did about 3 1/2 years ago and we would be going through that kind of tragedy again.

But then we didn't see that at all. We saw a little baby, about 8 weeks old, peacefully still and heart beating wildly. We were reassured, and for the first time in a month, we exhaled.

I didn't cry like I did the first time. This doesn't mean I'm not happy or ecstatic or ready to just tell the world-- but rather I just accepted the challenge. I accepted the responsibility of growing this baby into a person, the way we have started to do with Noelle. I felt like I was accepting a new mission, and that I was ready to be this baby's mama.

Of course Noelle is a little young to understand everything, but she will be a little over 2 1/2 when this baby arrives in October, and I hope Noelle understands one thing most of all...

She is my first baby. She is my first love. Having another child will not replace her. Having another child will allow me to experience Noelle in a whole new way-- as a loving, helpful, and playful sister. She was the first to hear my heart beat from the inside, and that is pretty dang special.

We are so happy. We are so ready for this...as ready as we could ever be! Baby E 2.0 is coming in October, ready or not!

Last Day of Pregnancy

Well, today was my last day of pregnancy (at least for now)! It was bizarre not getting up and going to school, but I enjoyed spending time on the couch, for sure! I ran a couple of errands, picked up some last minute baby items, and enjoyed the absolutely gorgeous weather outside. I am so happy that the baby will born without any snow on the ground! It was nearly 70 degrees today, so the snow has melted and the baby will have a beautiful Spring birthday!

I am waiting on Luke to get home so that we can enjoy a final dinner date out as just the two of us. We will then spend some time together, get the house picked up, and count down the hours until bedtime-- so we can wake up and go to the hospital by 7:30 tomorrow morning!

The bags are packed and sitting by the door. The laundry is done. The cats have no idea what is about to hit them :-)....we have called friends and family. We are ready (as we're ever going to be)! Who knows, by 24 hours from now, we should be holding our sweet baby boy or girl!

Since this is my last day of being pregnant, we have to take our 38 week picture. I also will complete one last pregnancy survey!

How far along? 38 weeks and 3 days

Total weight gain: Sittin' pretty at about 40. Woohoo! Thankfully that number should be going down after tomorrow!

Sleep: Still waking up about once a night to pee. Tossing and turning is nearly impossible, so my hips just go numb. I think poor Luke has worse nights' sleep than me, though. He thrashes around, says he doesn't have any room (because of my belly and the number of pillows I need to be comfortable), and he has to get up pretty early. Sorry, Babe!

Best moment this week: Learning that I was 7 cm dilated and yet not in labor, and finding out that we would be meeting our sweet baby by March 11th.

Movement: As I type, the baby is going to town, putting its butt up in the air and trying to find its way out.

Gender: We will find out soon enough, right?

Labor Signs: All kinds....had 2 hours of solid contractions every 8-10 minutes apart on Sunday. Braxton Hicks contractions galore. Um....and yeah did I mention I am 7 cm dilated?

Belly Button in or out? Flat & weird looking!

Cravings: I want Olive Garden soup & salad....which is where we are going tonight!

What I miss: Cute clothes....and now that spring is here, the clothes are really cute and colorful! I am excited that I will be wearing them again soon! My two pair of maternity dress pants from Target got me through about 5 months, but I am ready to put them away!

What I am looking forward to: TOMORROW! It's BABY TIME!

It's Go Time (almost!)

I just got back from the doctor and am still reeling from what she said. She told me I was 7 cm dilated. She couldn't believe it herself. She said in 6 years she hadn't seen a person dilated as much as me and not in labor yet. She said that basically I am in labor and that the baby needs to come out! She used the word "impressive!"

Luke and I exchanged crazy-scared-excited looks, and she suggested that Thursday morning at 7:30, I get induced. I can't believe this time has come! It is so exciting and scary and amazing all at the same time!

Tomorrow I am taking the day off to relax and put my feet up. These were doctor's orders. I don't really know what to do with myself right now, but I know that my life is about to change forEVER....and I feel so unprepared.

My mind is racing with the what-ifs...the possibilities....the questions....but I know that we will be taking life as it comes and experiencing the most amazing gift of all--- giving life to our first child.

Max or Noelle, I hope you are ready for this world...ready to meet your crazy parents who will no-doubt mess up numerous times in your life. I hope you are ready to make a difference....to bring some good into this sometimes depressing universe. I hope we make you proud and always do the right thing for you. We love you so much already!

Updates to come!

Waiting....

Since my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, I have been waiting, waiting, waiting for things to start happening, happening, happening! Every back pain. Every cramp. Every contraction. Every feeling. Is this it? Is it time? Nope...not yet.

I have been occupying myself by staying busy at school. I finally have everything in line for my maternity leave. My substitute came in to meet my kids. I feel as ready as possible for that transition.

My kids even threw me a baby shower on Thursday, which was such a totally cute surprise. They were very into all the gifts. I know have had 5 baby showers, and I need to write Thank You's for 3 of them. That is definitely something I can still do while I am waiting for Baby E.

We have stuff to get done around here, but Luke and I have both been so tired that things just aren't getting accomplished. We did cash in about 5 gift cards yesterday and get a jogging stroller! :-) It's all about priorities....

I am very conflicted about when I want Baby E to come. I want to meet him/her NOW! I am prepared and ready. I want this party to get started! BUT....I know that if I can make it to Spring Break (March 19), that will be SO much better for me as it comes to school. That's only 12 days. There are times, however, when lasting 12 more minutes sounds impossible. I guess the beauty of it all is that I don't get to decide any of this...Baby E does....so I am just along for the ride.

I will leave you with my 37 week picture.

37 Week Update!

I had a pretty interesting doctor's appointment today! Not only was the baby's heartbeat in the 170's because, in my doctor's words, "he/she is having a party!"...but I also found out that I am dilated to almost 5 cm right now. I am totally shocked and can't believe that I am that far along. I was hoping for 1 cm. I am feeling a healthy dose of reality right now, and I can't believe that the baby is going to be here in 3 weeks or less!

Other than that, the first day of ISTEP seemed to go OK. Let's hope the kids do well tomorrow and Thursday.

I will definitely update if anything crazy happens (like....I go into labor!)!

Made it to March!

I can't believe it is March already! I can't believe it has been 37 weeks that I have been pregnant, which means I am down to my final 3 weeks. I am stunned that I am going to be a mom in 3 weeks or less, and I am overwhelmed with so many thoughts and feelings.

I am so physically uncomfortable that I am just itching to get this baby out, but I know that the implications of having this baby too early will complicate "the plan." If I make it to Spring Break, I don't have to count Spring Break in my maternity leave and basically I will get an extra week. This will put me back at school toward the end of May. If God decides that this baby needs to come this week, I will be back by mid April. I am not ready to do that, and it is not what I wish to do. I pray that I can just suck it up and be strong for 3 more measly weeks so that I can have this baby in perfect time. I know that I can't plan it or choreograph it, but I know that I can hopeful that things will work out the way they are supposed to.

My students start ISTEP tomorrow. I am so nervous, I could barf. I have been teaching my face off since Christmas (well, before then, too...but the pressure has been high since returning from break), and unfortunately with missing 2 weeks of school in February, it really put us behind. It is so unfair the weight they put on these tests....making us feel like we have failed if our students don't all pass...making the kids feel dumb and like losers if they don't pass. It really is a downfall of our education system. I am all for accountability, but seriously you should see some of the stuff they are required to do. It's a nightmare!

Well, I'm off my teaching soap box for now. There's plenty else to be happy and positive about, so I guess I will focus on that. Hope everyone's having a great day!

Last One Standing!

Well, in the past few weeks, several other women who were in the pregnant club with me have delivered their babies. In fact, I can think of 5 off the top of my head. They were all due around the same time as me, one due 4 days before me and just delivered today. I am getting so anxious, wondering when our time will come.

The past week has been very uncomfortable for me. I have experienced a lot of swelling, and it doesn't matter how much salt I eat or how much water I drink. It just happens. It also doesn't matter if I am wearing my compression socks. I wore them yesterday to school and my feet still looked as bad as they did before. It's just a normal pregnancy thing, but it is so uncomfortable and really makes you feel hideous!

I have been experiencing an increased amount of BH contractions. I think I have had a few "real" ones, too (just because they are actually painful), but nothing is regular or bad enough to think it is labor.

Today, Luke put me on bedrest himself, meaning that I was to lay on the couch with my feet elevated by 3 pillows and do nothing. As tough as this was for me to accept, I did do it, and I ended up getting an almost 3 hr. nap in. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a napper. In fact, I hate napping. I always feel worse and very cranky upon waking up. However, I did feel better today and think it is what I needed.

Our bags are packed....baby laundry is done....nursery is pretty much 100% ready. I have ISTEP this week, so I really need to get through this week with my kids. Luke and I have decided that Baby E has the green light after the 12th of March. Let's see what happens!

Miserable

Enough said.

36 Week Appointment

I had my 36 week appointment today. Baby E passed another test today....he/she is in the head down position! I got to have another ultrasound, but it was kind of a disappointment because I didn't see anything and the head was so far down I couldn't really make out a shape. However, the doc seemed happy that the baby was in position, so I just took her word for it.

I am huge with a capital H, miserable when I sleep, tired beyond belief, and sore in places I didn't know could be sore. As anxious as I am to get this baby out, I know that I NEED to stay pregnant until at least the week before my due date. I need to be at school to get these kids through ISTEP, research reports, book projects, fractions, and Indiana salt/flour maps. There's a lot going on, but I am trying to take it day by day and bring nothing home at night to worry about. This is a challenge, but given my new 8 p.m. bed time, I really wouldn't have time to do anything school-related at home anyway. In fact, Luke caught me asleep last week at about 5:00 when he got home with my laptop on my lap (open to Facebook of course), my cell phone in one hand, and the remote in the other. I was passed out in that position for who knows how long!

Anyway, Baby E seems to be doing just fine, and I am getting more excited by the day. In fact, I see a direct relationship between my excitement level and the amount of swelling in my feet, ankles, face, and hands! The more excited I get, the bigger and more swollen I get! I no longer can wear my gorgeous wedding rings....which really makes me sad....but I know it will be a great reward for when Baby E is born!

Maternity Pics

I have had these for a while, but just thought I would post a few of our favorite maternity pictures from our session with Sarah Ordo. She did a great job, and we now have priceless photos to remember this special time in our lives. Hope you enjoy!

35 WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS!

Well, I am almost to my 36th week pregnancy mark. This is very exciting! I flip-flip between being happy to be almost done and sad for the same reason. I really have enjoyed being pregnant, probably a lot more than some other women who have had a horrific time. I have had a few isolated bumps in the road, but all signs point to Baby E being healthy (please, God), and me being healthy as well. My blood pressure continues to be really good at my appointments, my weight has stabilized, and I feel pretty good MOST of the time.

I haven't done one of these in a while, so here goes!

P.S. I know I am behind in updating pics of the nursery, posting about our maternity pictures, and other things. I am working on it!

How far along? 35, almost 36 weeks! Officially 9 months!

Total weight gain: As of this morning, looks like 33 big ones!

Sleep: Not so good. I toss and turn, get up to pee a lot, and I wake up REALLY early (despite having 5 snow days in the past week and a couple delays, I woke up at 4:30-5 each morning). Sleeping is pretty much pointless for me because I don't enjoy it. I feel that I am in training for dealing with a newborn, so I am OK with this.

Best moment this week: Hmmm.... I have had a bazillion snow days, so I would say that being productive and getting things knocked off the to-do list left and right was pretty good. Also a great Valentine's Day with my husband at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

Movement: It is decreasing. Nothing too worrisome (though I worry all the time), but the baby just kinda kicks and bumps and thumps around....not much room left!

Gender: My answer is always "I still feel like it is a girl." My coworker who also did not know the sex of her baby delivered this week via C-section and had a boy, and everyone always said that we would have the opposite because we looked so different pregnant. We will see! I also had another girl dream last night.

Labor Signs: I have had lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, and I am convinced that last Thursday I had an hour of "real" ones (they were painful and were every 10 minutes for an hour). They stopped before I could get worried/excited that something was happening.

Belly Button in or out? Pretty much flat.

Cravings: Everything. I love eating right now.

What I miss: Not sure....!

What I am looking forward to: My doc. appointment on Tuesday. I get another ultrasound to determine Baby E's position (please be head down!)! I start going every week now until delivery!

Car Seat Woes

In a quest to get everything on my to-do list done (see previous post), I decided to install the car seat in my car yesterday. I read the manual, read my car manual, located all the specific parts and things I should be familiar with, and began my journey of installing a car seat.

I got the beautiful Bertini Valencia infant carrier's base installed without a hitch. The LATCH system is really nice and makes it very easy to do. I was feeling empowered. I was feeling intelligent. I'm smart, college education, and dammit....I can put in a car seat on my own! :-)

Well, all of that quickly went out the window when I went to put the carrier on the base and could not fit the thing behind my passenger seat. I moved the seat forward to make room, but the seat had to be pushed all the way forward to the dashboard. No person with legs would be able to ride with me, and unfortunately (or fortunately), I don't have any friends with no legs. The closest person to that would be Jenn, my shortest friend. :-)

So, I unhooked everything and moved the seat to the middle seat. I couldn't use the LATCH with this, so I had to use the shoulder/lap belt. I didn't like this. It moved a lot more. Plus, it didn't fit there either. It was too wide for the gap between my driver and passenger front seats.

I tried the convertible car seat that we have to last through the toddler years. It didn't fit in the infant recline position either, and since the baby has to be in this rear-facing position until he/she graduates high school (or 1 year/20 lbs, whichever comes first), I started to get pissed.

Commence INSTAMELT! This is the term Luke has given my instant, spontaneous meltdowns. I can go from happy and smiling to upset and crying in a matter of seconds, which means that I will get along great with my newborn son or daughter very soon. Regardless, I was upset and stressed, thinking my cute little Elantra was not going to be big enough for my child's car seats, and the law would not allow me to escort my infant anywhere.

We got the Bertini in Luke's car (tight squeeze, but doable). To try and find a solution, we started Googling used Hyundai Santa Fe's (the next car purchase I would like to make-- a nice small SUV). I thought that maybe this purchase would just be coming sooner rather than later for us.

Leave it to my mom to think rationally today and tell me to try to look for a smaller car seat, versus look for a larger car. Hmmmm....$180 or $18,000..... (hands in "weighing position" in air).

I posted on Baby Center message boards about this problem, and I got some helpful responses. I Googled the best car seats for compact cars, and I came up with a few choices. I set out to Babys R Us to find a car seat, tape measure in hand. The nice lady at Babys R Us let me take the model seats out to my car to try them out.

I settled on the Chicco Keyfit 30, which fit in my car and will allow me to carry a passenger other than Jenn (not that I wouldn't be delighted to have you as my only passenger forever and ever-- AND I hope you a reading this carefully since you have an Elantra, too...you know, for the future...when you have a baby...not trying to start any rumors). It is in a nice orange and gray color combo, and I already have it installed in my back seat.

Crisis solved!