A New Perspective

Noelle is sleeping so I thought I would take a moment to blog. I'm not sure the direction this blog is going to go...but I will get my fingers moving and see where they take me!

I can't believe that tomorrow, Noelle will be 3 weeks old. Where have the last 3 weeks gone? I can tell you. I have been holding her, feeding her, changing her, sleeping with her, and staring at her. I have snapped about 600 pictures, planned her wedding in my head, and envisioned her as a toddler with bouncing pig tails, following me around all day.

It goes without saying that Noelle has changed me. Being in the presence of someone who is truly innocent and has not yet been tainted by the world is such a humbling experience...similar to what I would think being in the presence of Jesus would be like. She's perfect in every way.

I want to be better for her. She inspires me so much to really be the person I know I should be. I want her to be proud of me and of Luke. I want her to know how much we love her and will sacrifice for her. I want her to know how hard it is for me to be brave and stay all night with her while Luke is working at the hospital, but I do it because I know that I am not a child anymore...and I must be the adult for her.

Noelle will change the way I teach my students. When I look at her face, I see my students, and I have a feeling that when I look at my students, I will see Noelle. I will see them as the true children they are. I will respect the fact that they were once Noelle's size, and they deserve to be treated with kindness (not that I don't, but I can easily forget that they are KIDS). I can now forever say that I will treat my students the way I would want Noelle's teachers to treat her. Having a child truly gives you a new perspective.

Well, I have given myself 3 weeks, and now it is time to get back to some normalcy around here. Our housework is building up, and I can't use the excuse, "I just had a baby" for much longer. We need to learn how to put Noelle in our routines and not use her as an excuse to do nothing. Along those same lines is the fact that I lost a quick 20-22 lbs. after she was born, but I have a good 10-15 to go before I am back to what I looked like before I got pregnant. I need to start thinking about myself and getting myself back to the shape I was in...not only for looks but also for my health. I want to be here Noelle as long as I can, and eating crap and not exercising will not help.

Here's to a great future with some positive changes! Thank you, Noelle.

PUB, the tub, and real baby tears...

We experienced three rites of passage in Babyland this weekend-- PUB, the tub, and real baby tears.

What is PUB, you ask? Well, it is "poop up the back." Noelle successfully completed this task on Saturday night as Luke and I were enjoying a fun family dinner of chicken on the grill, potatoes, and salad. The weather was mild, the neighbors were out, and March Madness basketball was on. It was really picture-perfect, and we loved being a family of 3, enjoying a spring dinner together.

Noelle was in her bouncy seat while we ate, and when I finished, I picked her up to hold her and talk to her. She had been "tooting," "farting," "passing gas" (whatever you want to call it) for a few minutes, so I knew a diaper change was in her future. It was then that I moved my hand off of her back because it felt wet. My first irrational 1st time mom thought was, "SHE'S BLEEDING! SOMETHING'S WRONG!" However, when I actually looked at my hand, it was a nice shade of mustard yellow. I knew what we had experienced here....poop up the back, or PUB.

I rotated her a little to show Luke what was going on, and his face was a nice mix of horrified and completely hysterical. He started laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes. He immediately took her and we headed to the bathroom for a bath.

It was quite the task, getting a completely poop-saturated onesie off my baby girl without it touching her gorgeous face or hair. Luke began filling the baby tub and we plunked her down in it.

Prior to this episode, we have given Noelle an "immersed" bath one other time. She screamed her face off and made us feel like horrible human beings, even though we were doing a good thing for her. However, this time, she was pretty calm and seemed to actually enjoy it! She liked the warm water, and she let us wash her hair. She even got some water in her eyes and didn't make a sound.

As disgusted as I was with the PUB episode, I was delighted that Noelle finally learned to trust us and enjoy her time in the bath. It was fun to get her all clean and smelling like a sweet baby. I look forward to the next bath.

Now...I have mentioned that Noelle can scream her head off. She only does this when she is cold (so, clothing changes, diaper changes, baths, etc). Other times, she is very sweet and doesn't fuss. During one of her episodes this weekend, I noticed that her eyes seemed a little wet. Yes, my baby girl's tear ducts were opening which meant that real baby tears were just on the horizon.

This morning, while changing her clothes, I saw one, big tear stream from her eye. It instantly made me want to melt and cry with her. I now know why parents hurt when their children hurt...and this was just because she was cold. I can't imagine the pain of when she needs her first band-aid or cast, when she experiences her first disappointment or failure, or when she experiences her first heart break (I will kill him!).

Right now, I am staring at a peaceful, beautiful little miracle who is all mine...even when she poops up the back.

Life Savers

I am typing this with one hand (my left hand, actually) because I am managing to feed Noelle at the same time. My talents amaze even me.

I have been a mom for 16 days, and I have already started a list of baby inventions that I can't live without. If you're not a mom or not close to becoming a mom, I apologize for the irrelevance of this post.

1. Medela 4 oz plastic bottles. She loves these and is not "confused" by them when she switches back and forth between nursing and taking a bottle.

2. Boppy Newborn Lounger. This is not the same as the Boppy nursing pillow. This is like a donut with a cover on it, and she lays in it a lot. This keeps her off the floor, couch, or bed. It elevates her head, and it makes it quite possible for me to do things like use the bathroom or eat cereal and not feel like her safety is at risk. We are borrowing this from a friend right now, but we will be purchasing one for any subsequent children.

3. Baby Wipes Warmer. Noelle is very content and peaceful 90% of the time. She only gets really, really mad when she is cold and/or wet. Cold and wet is a horrid combo for her. This makes diaper changes dreadful (when are they pleasant?), because she screams until no sound comes from her sweet little body when the cold wipe touches her. I decided it was worth the $25 to invest in a warmer. It earned its money the first night, when I changed her in the middle of the night and she didn't make a sound. Beautiful.

4. Aquaphor ointment. I got this at a shower from Luke's Aunt Kathy, and she said it was the best. Definitely true! She had the very beginnings of a diaper rash, and I put some on her and the redness was gone by the next diaper change.

5. Pampers Swaddlers diapers. We didn't know if we would like Huggies or Pampers better prior to her birth, but we got some of each as shower gifts. We definitely like Pampers better, as they fit her perfectly and haven't leaked. The Huggies seem huge on her and we can't get them snug enough on her.

That's all I have for now (not too mention my hand is sore from typing with like 4 fingers for 15 min.)!

Little Girl

When we went to the doctor for the first time with Noelle last Monday, she weighed 7 lbs, 6 oz. She was still down 9 oz. from her birth weight. Her assignment was to gain at least 7 oz. in one week and come back today for a weigh-in. Well, my baby girl failed this assignment and only gained 2 oz, despite the fact that she is eating all the time and doesn't seem to be upset that she isn't getting enough food.

We now are going to be supplementing with formula after every feeding, and we have to go back next Monday for another weigh-in. Who would have thought that my daughter would have problems gaining weight? It seems she has her father's body type, and she will be oh-so-grateful when she gets older!

Me on the other hand....I am happy to report that I have lost over 20 lbs since Noelle was born, and now I don't have much more to go before I get back to where I started. It's really fun to see pounds fly off and not have to exercise! I know the next 10-15 will not be that easy to get rid of, and I am greatly looking forward to going back to Zumba and starting jogging again.

That's all I know for now! Have a great day.

A request

Just a little request for prayer. With the birth of my sweet little girl, Noelle, I feel the weight of the responsibility of caring for her financially now more than ever. I am the bread-winner in my family, like it or not, for at least one more year before Luke begins his residency and therefore brings home a paycheck. With all of the horrendous budget cuts that schools are having to make (Mitch Daniels = not my favorite person), my corporation will have to RIF (reduction in force) 7 elementary teachers. I am not sure where I fall...I think I am above this line with my years of experience....but I am not sure. It is possible that I could be let go due to the budget cuts, and this thought terrifies me. I lose sleep over it. My stomach hurts over it. I look at my precious Noelle's face and realize the gravity of the situation...she is depending on me to provide for her, and I want to be able to do that.

I am not only asking for prayer for myself-- that I will survive whatever happens with the RIF situation and be able to find a new beginning at another school if that is what I have to do, but I also ask for prayer for the other teachers across the state who are being RIF'd and left with a pretty desperate situation as it comes to finding a new job.

These really are sad economic times, and it seems like the focus is all on healthcare right now, but our education system is quickly going down the shitter, too.

Here's to being optimistic...

First Photo Shoot

When Noelle was first brought home, I took some pictures of my beautiful baby girl. Here are my favorites.

Week of Firsts!

Noelle's first car ride home from the hospital

First doctor's appointment

First car ride with mommy (out to Babies R Us)

First census

First walk in the neighborhood

First time peeing on Daddy!

First St. Patrick's Day

Not pictured: First time going through McDonald's drive-thru, first time at Target (first of many!), and first time out to dinner (Mommy & Daddy went to O'Charley's)