Aimless

My mind is wandering to who knows where tonight, and I just felt the need to put pen to paper...or I guess fingers to keys. As I stare at my husband across from me, laughing as he listens to his headphones because he has old Seinfeld episodes playing in his ears, I find myself wishing I could be him...able to let go of the day's stress and laugh. I am capable of being like that....but this past week has taken a toll.

School is challenging these days. I have so many students with special needs and IEPs that I feel I simply cannot reach all of them and please their parents while abiding the state law that I have to make a whole list of accommodations for each of them...and manage to teach the rest of my students with enthusiasm and energy. I hate complaining about my job...no, honestly I do. So many people want to be teachers right now, and I am so blessed to have a job...and not just any teaching job...a teaching job where I truly love where I work.

The stress is getting to me, and sadly I find myself at the end of the day realizing that I haven't thought about my own baby all day...and that I had put all my energy into everyone else. That said, I know that the next 6 1/2 months will fly by.

I want to be all things to all people, and I think my mom would be the first person to say that you simply can't do that. However, I am a teacher, a teachers naturally want to please everyone and be liked and favored by coworkers, parents, and students.

I have been racking my brain, trying to think of new ideas, strategies, lessons, etc...and I am exhausted. There's no time! I feel like Jesse Spano on Saved By the Bell. "There's no time! There's never any time! I'm so excited! I'm so excited...I'm so...scared!" Oh, that makes me laugh just reading that. If you don't know what the heck I am talking about, Google it.

Speaking of Google, I promised the teachers at lunch that I would Google what is in tapioca pudding. We had quite the debate, trying to decide if it really does have fish eyes in it. My Google results say it is simply a root-like starch that is edible. Sounds as gross as fish eyes to me.

This post had no point. Sorry if it wasted your time. Maybe it didn't waste your time. Maybe you are in the same "Blah blah blah I'm worried I am going to suck at everything" boat as me. If so, let's go sailing!