Whoever you are...

Dear Future Owners of Our Home,

Hello. It's nice to meet you. I would like to let you in on a little inside scoop regarding this home you will soon purchase. Just as any other house, it has its quirks, secrets, and dirt (literally and figuratively). Here we go.

We bought this house three years ago after living in an apartment for a year. We found it by pure luck. There just so happened to be an open house here that day...and we walked in and fell in love.

To be honest, I had NO idea 96th Street even existed prior to finding this home. I knew about 116th and 82nd, but I had no clue anything called this street home. Little did I know that I would soon be making hundreds of trips to the Meijer around the corner or thousands of trips through the drive thru at Mexi-Donald's down the street. Some advice...the Mexi-Donald's (McDonald's for you, newbie), is great. Very efficient. I can typically get my large diet coke in the morning before school in about 4 minutes, start to finish. Be warned, though. Always take a sip of your drink before you pull away. I got Sweet Tea'd once, and it was awful. I think you will find all of the amenities on 96th Street to be highly convenient for you. Starbuck's, Subway, Wal-Mart, Meijer, Marsh, every fast food restaurant ever created, banks, salons, etc. You would never have to leave this road if you didn't want to...and if you head East...you will run into Geist and all the rich people over there. We like to go eat at restaurants down there just so we feel special. We recommend Scotty's Lakehouse. It's real good.

So, about the house you will purchase at $20,000 over the asking price (thank you for your generosity). The spare bedrooms changed purpose as our needs changed over the years. At first it was a guest bedroom and an office. The guest bedroom had a mattress in it that we lovingly referred to as "bedrock." No, not because of that, you pervert (should have done a background check). It was called that because it was hard as a rock, and our few guests to experienced it woke up the next morning walking with a limp. It had to go.

The main reason we ditched the bed was because we decided to have a baby. Yes, that beautiful room in there with the branch & blossom decal over the crib and the stylish vertical orange, brown, and cream stripes on the apple green walls...that's our girl's room. We put love into every single detail in that room. We painted it a shade of green and then realized that we hated it and then painted it a different shade of green. We bought her furniture at an antique store and rehabbed it ourselves. The decals on the wall came from Russia via Etsy. Do you know how many hours I spent looking at all 65 pages of wall decals on Etsy, finally settling on these little birds, blossoms, and a branch? I spilled orange paint on the carpet, but I have strategically put the bookshelf over it and you won't find it until after our stuff is out. Sorry. Each night before our daughter was born, we would sit in the glider (that we fixed up after pulling it out of our old apartments dumpster) and dream about our future baby. Please love this room as much as we do (and don't do something disrespectful like painting it lavender).

The kitchen? The cabinets used to be butt-ugly old wood. You're welcome. That beautiful ivory color? It didn't just magically appear. We labored over painting those cabinets for days. Ohhh, it was the worst job ever! However, I think it really paid off. Again, you're welcome. We have saved you hours of labor and a potential divorce from your spouse. One of my favorite features of the kitchen is the ivory chandelier. I found that at Goodwill and painted it myself. I think it really makes the room. Make sure you pull out the stove and the refrigerator so you can see how clean it is back there. I cleaned that especially for you.

The master bedroom is amazing (duh-- you're buying the house, so you know this). The high ceilings and huge space sold us the house on first look. But don't go around thinking that hazy gray color was there. Ohhh, no sir. It was a great faux finished taupe monstrosity.

I know our master bath doesn't have two vanities. I know that is all the rage, and you are probably thinking, "Well where will I brush my teeth when my husband is brushing his teeth?" Listen, unless your husband is my brother in law who is an orthodontist and brushes his teeth for 10 minutes (no joke), you will be just fine waiting the 60 seconds until your hubby is done brushing his teeth. Plus, who wants to be together ALL the time? You can't separate for one measly minute while he brushes his teeth? (All this in assumption that you do, in fact, brush your teeth. If not, I suppose you won't care what type of vanity you have.)

We have had a number of different celebrations in our home...for birthdays, holidays, baptisms, and more. We brought our daughter home from the hospital to this very address. We have filled it up with as much love as we possibly could have. We hope you see that in the way we have taken care of it.

One of my favorite features of the house is the bradford pear tree in the front. When it blooms, it is spectacular. It has lost some branches a couple of times due to heavy storms, but it still looks amazing in the spring and provides great shade in the summer. We also planted a tree of our own. In 2008, we lost our first child due to miscarriage, and our family purchased the cherry blossom tree along the side of the house. This tree represents not only the child we never met, but also the healing that took place. When it blooms, it represents hope. It represents healing. It represents family. It represents the baby girl we have now, too. Please take care of our tree.

I don't want to have hard feelings about turning the house over to you. I want you to love it the way we have and always will. I want you to make your own traditions and memories here. I want you to invite your family and friends over often and enjoy what it means to have your own home. I also want you to understand that I am allowed over whenever I want, and nothing inside of it is to change.

Thanks (and enjoy!),

Ashley