Hopeless

In one word, it all feels so hopeless.

If my negativity annoys you already, then please click the X and leave.

Right now, I am gonna wallow.

I have gone back and forth between feeling like we are going to make the biggest mistake of our lives or we have already made it. Every other day, I tell myself, this is good...we will be fine...we will find a place to live...we will sell our house....we will be happy...there's life beyond the Super Target....but I just am losing hope.

Thus, I am hopeless.

I am sad and extremely depressed about it all. I am tired of physically talking about it because I feel like I annoy everyone who hears me. So...I will light the keys ablaze with my typing as I spill my guts to the interwebs. Sorry in advance.

Our house has had a measly 2 showings in one month. Personally, I think that sucks, and neither one were all that positive. Between being told that they didn't like where the master bedroom was in the house, that our kitchen and bathrooms were outdated, and we needed to tone down the teal color in our living room because it makes it look "small," I really am completely PISSED OFF at this process and no longer wish to participate.

Honestly, I have commuted for 4 years. I feel like I could probably do it for 3 more. Luke is hardcore against the thought, but it keeps running through my mind.

Also running through my mind is the LACK of options in Muncie for us to live. I am not so sure we are going to buy anymore, given that our own home is sitting happily on the market, and a home probably ain't gonna sell like a hotcake in Muncie. The thought of renting, especially in Muncie, sounds revolting to me. I have rented in Muncie, as a college student, and I throw up when I think about our options. I have always taken such pride in my home, and now to think of having to "put up with" something that will just be OK for 3 years really, really devastates me. This is me...not caring about how bad that sounded. I don't want to live in a dump, and I don't want to pay an arm and a leg to do it, either.

This is me...lovin' life...