That awkward moment...

Well, it happened. Yesterday, it happened.

I got my first, "Congratulations!" as a woman who has actually known me for a long time stared at my belly. I was at the gym, trying to shrink the damn thing, when she made special effort to walk across the room and tell me congratulations because she thought I was "expecting."

It was that awkward moment when it sunk into my brain and hers at the same time...nope...definitely not pregnant. She then began digging herself out of the most colossal hole she could ever be in, rescuing herself with "Oh, how old's Noelle? You must be trying, right?"

OK, Lady. You don't have the right to ask me that question. That's quite personal, and if you really want to know, YES...we have been! For half a year! Do you really want me to unload all of that shit on you right now?

So, I tried to help her and tell her it was OK (even though her comment made me want to shoot myself) and then I tried to get away from her, but she felt so bad that she continued to ask me questions that she already knew the answers to, such as my job and Luke's job and other random crap. I wanted to die and she just wouldn't let me!

Finally, I made my escape, made it to my car, still managing to laugh about it most of the way home, until I called Luke and told him what happened. THEN the tears came.

Honestly, I've heard of this happening to other women, but the first time it happens to you, it just feels like a punch in the face and the gut at the same time. All of a sudden, you feel absolutely ashamed, even though you've been walking around in that body for quite some time now. I started to wonder who else thinks I'm pregnant based on this belly? My students? My coworkers? My friends? My family? That lady I see at Target 4 times a week?

The truth? Heaven knows I WANT to be pregnant. I'm about to turn this blog into a "My Fertility Journey" blog because it is getting that ridiculous, but we're not quite there yet. The fact that everyone assumes they have the right to even ask you if you're "trying" to have another baby is pretty friggin' annoying. What a personal, insensitive question. My best friends don't even ask me that. Wanna know why? Because they KNOW that we are.

I spent the whole day sulking about it. Sulking because it was a rude thing to say (even though she didn't mean for it to be rude), but also because I know that I have to do something about it. It's no secret that I have let the stresses of life get to me, and now if it weren't for "flowy tops" my students would see that Mrs. E never buttons the top button of her pants. I think I was mostly mad at myself yesterday.

So...what to do about it. It's clear that I'm not going to enjoy Zumba in Muncie the way I did in Indy. The style is different...classes are different...people are different. I don't see it being my "thing" the way it used to be...which honestly makes me really, really depressed. I'm going to have to find something else that makes working out motivating and fun.

I woke up early and decided that I better make good use of the time I have before Noelle wakes up, so I put on the 30 Day Shred and started at Level 1. Corny and stupid and lame...but I did it. I broke a sweat. I'll probably be sore tomorrow. And I guess that's all that really matters anyway.

The best part of yesterday? Celebrating my "pregnancy" with a huge glass of wine. Maybe being Sterile Meryl or Baron Sharon ain't so bad after all...