Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Life with Charlotte, Week 2: Overwhelmed

Charlotte is now officially 16 days old (feels like she should be starting college next week...time is flying). In Charlotte's 2nd week of life, she continued to eat, sleep, and poop. She also continued to wow us with her sweetness and beauty, reminding us to thank and praise God often for the gift of both of our girls.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it. After I had Noelle, I cried for many days, multiple times a day. I had the classic case of "Baby Blues," lasting about 2 weeks and then disappearing. I had many a breakdown in the days following Noelle's birth-- breakdowns over silly things and breakdowns over serious things. I developed new fears, couldn't watch scary TV shows, needed lights on at all times because darkness made me sad. I cried in the shower, I cried when I looked at her, I just cried.

I prayed I wouldn't have this same case of the "Baby Blues" following Charlotte's birth, but that didn't happen. Sure enough, I turned into a blubbering mess upon bringing her home from the hospital, and having a toddler at home who likes to push boundaries intensified the emotions.

There are plenty of women who have babies and never experience this unexplained sadness and emotional roller coaster, but there are also plenty of women who go through this exact thing and some who have it much worse. I guess what I'm saying is that now that Charlotte is 16 days old, my "Baby Blues" are dissipating and I am finally starting to get a handle on being a mother of 2 little ones.

The whole process is quite overwhelming.

Not only is parenthood overwhelming in the "too much going on, I can't breathe, how do I help two crying babies at the same time, Noelle just peed on the floor because I was feeding Charlotte and couldn't help her get to the potty on time, Luke's working late again, the house is a freaking mess, I don't feel like cooking" kind of way...but it's also overwhelming in the "how could I be so lucky to have the most beautiful, healthy babies, and how do I deserve them when so many others are suffering losses of their children or infertility issues" kind of way.

Little by little, one day at a time, we are learning how to navigate this new world together.

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