Before I go any further, today, NINE years ago, Luke and I began dating officially! We call this one our High School Anniversary. Happy High School Anniversary, babe!
I can look at my life in segments (I think I have said this before). The time before our miscarriage in September of 2008, the time between September 2008-April 2009, and then the time from April 2009-now.
The time from September 2008-April 2009 can be compared to the feeling of nearly drowning, being sucked under, unable to catch your breath or signal to anyone for help. I spent a good part of those months mad, upset, jealous, and feeling sorry for myself. Two pivotal instances occurred during those months that helped to save us from "drowning." One- on the way back from Bloomington around Valentine's Day with Abe & E, they took the time to have a real conversation with us about our loss of the baby. They asked us how we were honestly doing, and we honestly weren't doing that well. We were able to vent emotions and feelings that we had been holding in for a while. I remember feeling a lot at that time that I couldn't really talk about the miscarriage-- that while people cared, they didn't want to hear about it. I felt like no one could understand. I thought maybe I was being dramatic and I should be over it by then. They helped us to know that they did care...and that they would always care....which was helpful and really instrumental to our healing. I know it helped Luke maybe more than me, because Luke was able to speak openly about this loss without feeling weird or too sensitive or uncomfortable. Luke admires his brothers so much, so I know what it meant for Abel to show such compassion.
That was a turning point for us-- we started looking forward more and looking back less. I set my sights on getting healthier, lost some weight that needed to be lost, and I chopped my hair off by Spring Break. I felt like a new woman!
By April, we were celebrating Luke's birthday, and we got an extra special present...this time from Luke's other brother Seth and his wife, Liz. After leaving our house after celebrating Luke's birthday, they doubled back around and asked us to be Solomon's godparents. Oh...what joy we felt in that moment! For them to trust us with such responsibility--I was just moved beyond measure. Solomon's birth, at first, was bittersweet for me. It represented everything I wasn't going to have (at that time), and I was riddled with guilt that I couldn't stop thinking about my own situation. Holding Solomon, and getting to know him, and loving him...I always felt a bond. When they asked us to be his godparents, it validated that bond for me and helped me to believe that we would someday have the joy of being parents ourselves. Little did we know... :-)
May was stressful in preparation for Luke's board exam, but it also meant the end of school, beginning of summer, and Kiawah was right around the corner. In June, we all headed to South Carolina and enjoyed a blissful week in the sun. It kicked off a great summer, which included my first real bridesmaid opportunity (as MOH in Al's wedding), my first (and last) mountain biking adventure, and lots of other fun memories-- which leads us up to...
THE BABY! I found out around July 12 or so...and waited to tell Luke until July 15-- coincidentally the same day he got his excellent board score. We celebrated a great score, a new baby, my birthday, and our 2 year wedding anniversary all in the same week. Now can you say, "Best week ever!"?
Ever since then, our lives have been taken over by preparing for baby! We have loved every minute of this pregnancy, and now it is 2/3 over! We have stayed busy by teaching, learning, studying, both attending and being attendants in the weddings of friends, watching some good football, taking a mini trip to West Baden and getting massages, staying active (or trying), and celebrating holidays with family and friends through parties and get-togethers.
2009 was a great mix of big events and small moments, all of which helped me (and us) to grow, change, regress, and adapt. 2010--- you have BIG shoes to fill!