Again

I made a decision today. I made a decision that I have made over and over and over and over and over and over and OVER again...time and time again...time after time...

You get the point.

I say this a lot.

"I'm going to work out! I'm going to eat healthy! I'm going to lose weight!"

Now, before you gasp and say, "BUT YOU'RE PREGNANT! YOU CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT!"

Oh yes, Rookies. Yes, you can.

You see, the misconception is that you eat for two when you're pregnant, you give into every craving, you laze around and make your husband rub your feet, etc, etc, etc. End fantasy.

What really happens is if you follow this philosophy (like I did with Noelle), you end up 40 pounds overweight by the end of it all, you hate yourself in all the birth pictures, and you can't get the weight off to save your life. Or your child's life. And that's saying something.

And don't forget everyone tells you that breastfeeding will help you lose the weight faster. Not for me!

I was super active the last time. I did Zumba all the time, but my eating sucked and it showed. I still don't know how my face got even rounder than it is when I'm normal, but it did, and it was scary.

I vowed before I got pregnant again that I would shed the last 10-15 pounds, and that never happened. Now I am going into this pregnancy extra chubby, and I am refusing to let it get the best of me this time.

So....I took the first step and went to the gym. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and then walked 15 minutes on steep incline. It's no Zumba, but it was something, and I felt accomplished when I walked out of there.

I have made some vows for dietary changes and am looking forward to seeing the results. Before anyone goes all CPS on me...just know that this is FOR the baby. I am making a decision to be healthy, and the weight loss will be an added benefit.

Here we go...again...

I just ate Ezekiel bread.

And it was good.

I had some photo sessions in Indy today, which meant that I had some time in the car to think. As much as I wish I could teleport myself to places and not have to waste gas or time in getting there, I do miss the hours upon hours of thinking time that my commute allowed me to have. So, today I took advantage. I turned the radio down and just thought.

My first thought was, "I feel like crap."

Yes, I'm sick. I have a cold. I can't talk. I can't breathe. It's yucky. I don't get sick very often at all, but when I do, I go down hard. So, I was pitying myself, naturally.

My second thought was, "I have got to eat better."

I am not going to Zumba any longer, and I'm hours away from canceling my gym membership to the Muncie Y. I don't like it there, mainly because at the end of a long day, I don't want to run into a) any students, b) any students' families, c) people from my high school that I'm not friends with, d) people that I work with, e) former teachers, f) my boss, g) my neighbors...and all of those people I have run into while exercising at the Y. I tried the Zumba classes 3 times from a couple different instructors on different days, and I just wasn't in love. Nothing about them excited me and I just didn't want to go back.

Oh yeah and I was also asked if I was pregnant while not actually being pregnant...and it's still a sensitive subject for me.

So, I figure that extra $35 a month can be better spent. I need to remind myself to cancel the membership this week.

Anyway-- I know that the basis of losing weight and overall health is FOOD. I went nearly a year without eating McDonald's or any fast food, and now since 2012 rolled in, I have eaten it numerous times. Blah. I feel so icky. I eat a lot of Lean Cuisines which supposedly are "healthy" but are loaded with all kinds of chemicals and salt and other stuff.

So, I decided that if I wasn't going to be as physically active as I was, then I can't just eat all of this junk/crap/shit and expect to look anything other than a fat pig.

I made a mental list of things that I wanted to get at the store to try. One of them was Ezekiel bread, which is made without flour and is supposedly like the healthiest type of bread there is. One of my friends had it once and said it was really good, so I found it in the freezer section and gave it a try.

I made a piece of toast and did put some butter on it, but overall it was good. I actually really liked the texture...kind of crunchy on the outside and then soft in the middle, and the flavor wasn't bad. I'm hoping that this will be a good alternative to bread made with a lot of additives and that it will be more filling.

I am hoping to incorporate other healthy options like fresh juicing, smoothies with almond milk, and eating lunches that actually are made of real food and not prepackaged factory food.

And I'm gonna try to go another year without the golden arches.

That awkward moment...

Well, it happened. Yesterday, it happened.

I got my first, "Congratulations!" as a woman who has actually known me for a long time stared at my belly. I was at the gym, trying to shrink the damn thing, when she made special effort to walk across the room and tell me congratulations because she thought I was "expecting."

It was that awkward moment when it sunk into my brain and hers at the same time...nope...definitely not pregnant. She then began digging herself out of the most colossal hole she could ever be in, rescuing herself with "Oh, how old's Noelle? You must be trying, right?"

OK, Lady. You don't have the right to ask me that question. That's quite personal, and if you really want to know, YES...we have been! For half a year! Do you really want me to unload all of that shit on you right now?

So, I tried to help her and tell her it was OK (even though her comment made me want to shoot myself) and then I tried to get away from her, but she felt so bad that she continued to ask me questions that she already knew the answers to, such as my job and Luke's job and other random crap. I wanted to die and she just wouldn't let me!

Finally, I made my escape, made it to my car, still managing to laugh about it most of the way home, until I called Luke and told him what happened. THEN the tears came.

Honestly, I've heard of this happening to other women, but the first time it happens to you, it just feels like a punch in the face and the gut at the same time. All of a sudden, you feel absolutely ashamed, even though you've been walking around in that body for quite some time now. I started to wonder who else thinks I'm pregnant based on this belly? My students? My coworkers? My friends? My family? That lady I see at Target 4 times a week?

The truth? Heaven knows I WANT to be pregnant. I'm about to turn this blog into a "My Fertility Journey" blog because it is getting that ridiculous, but we're not quite there yet. The fact that everyone assumes they have the right to even ask you if you're "trying" to have another baby is pretty friggin' annoying. What a personal, insensitive question. My best friends don't even ask me that. Wanna know why? Because they KNOW that we are.

I spent the whole day sulking about it. Sulking because it was a rude thing to say (even though she didn't mean for it to be rude), but also because I know that I have to do something about it. It's no secret that I have let the stresses of life get to me, and now if it weren't for "flowy tops" my students would see that Mrs. E never buttons the top button of her pants. I think I was mostly mad at myself yesterday.

So...what to do about it. It's clear that I'm not going to enjoy Zumba in Muncie the way I did in Indy. The style is different...classes are different...people are different. I don't see it being my "thing" the way it used to be...which honestly makes me really, really depressed. I'm going to have to find something else that makes working out motivating and fun.

I woke up early and decided that I better make good use of the time I have before Noelle wakes up, so I put on the 30 Day Shred and started at Level 1. Corny and stupid and lame...but I did it. I broke a sweat. I'll probably be sore tomorrow. And I guess that's all that really matters anyway.

The best part of yesterday? Celebrating my "pregnancy" with a huge glass of wine. Maybe being Sterile Meryl or Baron Sharon ain't so bad after all...

Officially Off the Sauce...Tomorrow.

Some people are alcoholics.

I am not one of them.

However, I am addicted to a dark brown, bubbly little elixir that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when I drink it.

Diet Coke.

Eff that Diet Coke.

My addiction to it goes in phases, but I have been stuck in a pretty long phase for a while now. I would say that I drink one every day, at least. I might have more than one. Some days, I might not consume any other liquids other than Diet Coke. And I LOVE water, so for me not to drink it at all in a day, that's something huge.

You see, I have been believing this lie that Diet Coke is healthy. OK, maybe I didn't really think it was healthy, but I thought it didn't really hurt you. Afterall, it wasn't regular Coke with all that sugar. I was just consuming gallons of cancer-causing aspartame daily. No biggie.

Aside from the cancer threat, I have read some articles lately about how your body processes fake sugar in a very similar way to what it does with real sugar. Basically, excess sugar turns into fatty acids in your body, and the fatty acids basically turn into fat that becomes stored. Lovely! (I know my husband is a doctor and all, but I am not exactly sure how correct I was in that description. I did read a lot of articles today, though.)

So, this might explain why I have made an effort to eat better and I have been working out, but I have seen no change in the scale or in the way my clothes fit. Don't misunderstand...I am NOT perfect in the food/fitness department. In fact, I am salivating over the ice cream I am about to disrespect in a few minutes. However, I think I do better than most at making good choices and I have added Body Pump to my fitness routine each week in addition to Zumba. Something should be happening, and my belly getting bigger shouldn't be that "something."

I expect for me to have horrible caffeine withdrawal headaches. I expect for me to crave Diet Coke like never before. I expect for me to be faced with many trigger situations (i.e. walking around Target, driving in my car, working in my classroom, going out to eat). I expect for me to be extremely irritable and PISSED that I even have to give up one of life's simple pleasures. However, I am sick of being a fat ass, and I am willing to do just about anything at this point to drop some el-bees.

I will have you know that I am drinking my last Diet Coke right now. Yes, I went to McDonald's specifically to get one. Yes, it tastes amazing. Yes, I'm scared to say goodbye.

Here goes nothin'...

Who knew?

Who knew that watching calories and trying to eat more fruits and vegetable would actually lend itself to weight loss?

In two days, I am down 2.5 pounds. Only approximately 22 more to go... (nervous giggle)...

McFatty Monday, on a Monday!

I know I haven't done this in 3 weeks, but I wanted to update, and not just because I am back to losing weight again. OK, actually it is 100% just because I am back to losing weight again.

I am now back to my lowest point (other than right before I got pregnant). I am ready to break through this plateau and get to that weight that made me happy.

I am thinking about signing up for the Geist 5K in May. Training for a race is always a good way to get back on track and focused.

One thing about really trying to lose weight is you learn things about yourself-- such as I am not one of those people who can eat the same thing every day. I get very bored after about the 3rd day. I also hate salads that I make at home. They just don't compare to restaurant salads. I also will let 92% of my fruits and veggies rot at home before I eat them. I have to get better at this.

I can assure you though that I have not had anything from a fast food restaurant other than a Diet Coke since the start of this new year! I have lasted nearly 3 months without french fries and nuggets. Craziness! I don't really even think about it as an option for food anymore. It feels great to be free from that trap.

Alright-- here's my graph. Let's hope for a shorter bar next week, too.

McFatty Failure

Well...I have been putting this post off for a couple of days because I didn't want to face the reality of what as been going on in my life.

A whole lotta this...

And nothing of this...

Therefore...my graph this week looks like this:

Yep. Somehow I gained 2 pounds this week. Sucky suck suck suck. 

It must have had something to do with being home for 4 days due to snow & ice...as well as all that Pioneer Woman cooking I have been doing. Damn her and her affinity for butter.

I wasn't going to post at all...and I briefly considered lying and saying I just stayed the same...but I didn't. I wanted to be honest and admit that something must need tweaking around here because I have a big goal to reach by the time my vacation to Kiawah comes around in 114 days. 

You might be wondering if I have picked back up the fast food habit. The answer would be a big, fat, muffin top NOOOOOO! I haven't had a burger, fry, nugget, or anything of the sort from any fast food restaurant since way back in 2010. I am extremely proud of this. However, I must admit I have picked up a McD's Diet Coke several times in the past week. I feel myself being tempted and wanting to give in.  

Temptations are everywhere. At the store, I see donuts, chips, cookies, and other wonderful things that make me want to rip open the boxes and just devour the goods right then and there...National Geographic style.

So...I might have fallen off the wagon a little, but I am going to get back on and achieve this goal... because Heaven only knows how badly I DON'T want to be a muffin top in a bikini.

McFatty Monday (on a Wednesday...again)

We haven't had school the past two days (which really means that my Kiawah vacation is already screwed), but the little mid-week vacay has allowed me to catch up on some stuff around the house and on the Internet. My fingers are tired from all the web addresses I have been typing in and clicking on. I loooooove Internet window shopping. I have a whole post devoted to that coming soon!

Anyway, allow me to report on my McFatty status. I managed to lose a little bit more this week, which is a victory considering the fact that I wasn't very good about eating or exercising. The snow + Luke's ICU month really hindered my ability to get to the gym. However, like I said, a little more flubber is off of me, so I shouldn't complain or make excuses.

I have been tempted a few times over the past couple of days to swing through McDonald's and get some food. However, I have not allowed myself to do so because I am really worried that it will rip off the scab of my fast food addiction and I will be back at step one again. I don't want that, so I am staying away from it. I can't promise forever, all I can promise is today.

With our Kiawah trip officially booked (despite the fact that if I miss one more school day, I will be forced to either fly down alone or make the group move the entire trip back a few days), it is now more important than ever to feel good in a swimsuit this summer.

Betty Freakin' Crocker

Who the heck am I?

In the past few weeks...I have made some of the most delicious edible creations ever in the history of all mankind. 

Such creations include:

1) Pioneer Woman's Meatloaf

2) Pioneer Woman's Mac & Cheese

3) Pioneer Woman's Potato Skins

4) Bakerella's Cake Pops

I have really been trying to lose weight here lately, so we have not been eating out as frequently. This has allowed me to get creative in the kitchen. I don't get to do very much during the week, but the weekend is when I get to make a huge mess and whip up something fancy. 

Even though I am really trying to watch what I eat, I have made all of the Pioneer Woman (aka P-Dub) recipes using the full-fat ingredients. You see, P-Dub is basically a skinny Paula Deen, and she freakin' loves butter and cream. What's that, you say? How can you be watching your weight AND eating butter and cream? 

Well, what I have come to learn is that if I make the recipe using the full-fat ingredients and don't sub in wimpy low-fat substitutes, I tend to not eat as much of the finished product. It is more filling, richer, and satisfies me more, which means I am not prone to go back for 2nds (unless it is that damn mac & cheese. HOLY CRAP)! 

I also find that if I eat what I am actually craving, I don't hunt around the kitchen afterwards looking for something else to fill me up. Snacking constantly really hurts me in the weight loss department. My actual meals are not that horrible...it's really all the junk in between that packs on the pounds.

I am far from an expert, but I am learning more and more each day how to listen to what I am actually needing and wanting, and how to make good decisions when it comes to food. 

Except for tonight. Nachos at Don Pablo's was a bad decision.

Good thing there's always tomorrow!

McFatty Monday (on a Wednesday...so sue me)

In my first official post for McFatty Monday, I wanted to start off with a bang.

First, I will tell you that I am going on week 4 without fast food. This is probably the longest I have ever gone, and I plan to go longer. I have to say that I don't really crave it. I find that I am craving other things that I have been eating at home. I also have really laid off my Diet Coke intake. I have had 1, maybe 2, large "gas station" Diet Cokes. I haven't been through a drive-thru because it is just a freaking trigger for me. Somehow, I mean to order a Diet Coke but then I mumble out "get me a hamburger, too" and it all goes to Hell. I try to limit myself to one can of Diet Coke per day. I figure 12 ounces is much better than 42.

I went through my blog and saw my pregnancy posts with Noelle. I have reasoned that I still look somewhere between 16 and 19 weeks pregnant. What I wouldn't give to look 12 weeks pregnant again! I am getting there. It is a process. I can't be too hard on myself.

I made a pretty healthy recipe on Thursday night. I got it from the Kraft Foods website. I made 90% lean beef hamburgers, put them on buns, and then topped them with pineapple, onions, and green onions. I also put a little BBQ sauce on mine. As a side, I made zucchini fries (oven baked). Not bad!

So, I will leave you with this.... a little progress report. Because I will never post my weight on here (unless I reach my goal), I have used percentages to show you my progress. Basically, my starting weight was last week. I want to weigh 85% of what I weighed last week (i.e. I want to lose 15% of my body weight). This week, I lost 1.3%. So, you can see where I have started, where I want to go, and where I am now.

Check ya next Monday!

McFatties Unite.

I love Heir to Blair. If you aren't familiar and totally in love with her blog, you need to get busy. I don't know how I discovered her, but I am so glad I did, because she so hilariously documents her triumphs and trials as a working mom. More seriously, she so bravely describes her battles with postpartum depression and the miscarriage she went through before giving birth to her son, Harrison. I literally laugh out loud at some of her posts, but then find myself tearing up and wanting to hold her hand in others. She is great, and I find her to be an inspiration.

Anywho...she does a weekly post called "McFatty Monday." She decided to chronicle her weight loss endeavors each Monday, starting with last January 4th. She managed to lose 35 pounds as a result, and she so bravely lists her actual weight and posts weekly pictures. I love this concept (and title), and I would like to "link up" to her McFatty Monday posts and share my struggles, too. I have made a commitment to abandon my fast food addiction, and I truly would like to drop this baby weight and then some. I have a rule that I must lose my baby weight and enjoy my success for a good three to six months before thinking about baby numero dos. So...here we go.

I made a cute little banner for the McFatty Monday link, and I hope to have as much success as Blair. P.S....that's not her real name. She's that cool.

Not lovin' it.

Dear McDonald's,

I miss you. A lot. It has been well over a week...going on two weeks...since I last indulged in your goodness.

More specifically, I miss the Mexi-Donald's on 96th Street. I say this in no disrespect of the Mexican culture. This McDonald's is my favorite on Earth because it is so efficient, quick, and always correct. I have never once had an issue with an order, except for that one tiny slip-up when I was Sweet Tea'd on my way to school. (Sweet Tea'd = I got Sweet Tea instead of Diet Coke and nearly choked to death due to the shock and horror) I have totally forgiven you and see no reason to hold that over your head.

A few times this week, I have been really tempted to just throw my resolution out my window and pull up to your window and place my order. Would it be a Happy Meal? Or would it be a #2 with no cheese? Would I go for Chicken Nuggets? Would I just get a Diet Coke? I am not sure what I would get if I could, but the bottom line is that I have a goal to achieve, so I just can't allow myself to give in.

You have comforted me many times in the past when I have been stressed, rushed, frustrated, or pissed. I ate you many times to spite my husband, just because he hates you. I have gone to you with friends or alone. I have rarely been disappointed.

I suppose you could say that I am an addict, but I am trying to break the cycle. Please don't tempt me with your beautiful billboards or your catchy commercials. I will just have to change the channel or look the other way.

I'm not saying I will never see you again, but it will probably be a while still. Just know that even though we are not seeing each other on a frequent basis, I still have a very big place in my heart and my gut (right around my spare tire area) for you.

Yours truly,
Ashley

Jingle Bell Run 2010

In all the sarcasm with my postings lately, I almost forgot to mention that I completed another 5K race. This was my 3rd official race in 2 years. I took a good year off of running to grow a small human and bring her to life.

Luke and I trained for the Jingle Bell Run this year like we did for our first one 2 years ago...using the Cool Running's Couch to 5K plan. For anyone who is NOT a runner, I definitely recommend this plan. It literally takes you from not being able to run for 1 minute to running a full 30 minutes for a 5K in just 9 weeks. Two years ago, I started it from week one and successfully completed a 5K (the Jingle Bell Run) outside in December. I would have never thought I could do such a thing.

This year, I could already run for about a mile without stopping or feeling that bad, so I started the plan at about week 5. We trained pretty consistently, despite the nasty weather and despite Luke having to push our jogging stroller with Noelle in it. We rigged up a beach towel with clamps to cover her stroller completely so that no air could get to her. She typically liked the rides and was always warm when we were finished. I am sure we looked hilarious doing this, but we had to do what could!

Anyway, this year's Jingle Bell Run went through downtown Indy, which was a change. It was a good time, and it wasn't too cold, either. Abe & E watched Noelle and surprised us by bringing her to the finish to cheer us on. It was really fun and sweet.

I did not beat my personal best time, which was to get it under 32 minutes. I ran the 5K in just about 33 minutes. However, I felt pretty good and finished really strong. I do remember running the first mile and not seeing any mile marker sign, and I was starting to feel winded, so I was getting worried that if I was this tired at not even the first mile, then there is no way I would be able to finish 3.1 miles. However, I asked Luke where Mile 1 would be, and he said we had passed it a while ago and were working on mile 2 at this point. What a relief! In all my focus, I had missed the Mile 1 sign. Praise Jesus!

I am really determined to not get totally out of running shape. I hope (after the holidays) to run at least twice a week in combination with my Zumba schedule.

These last 10 pounds are really pissing me off, and it is high time they hit the road.

Here's your sign...

So today, I decided, I would not be a fatty. 

I made good choices with food.

I went to Zumba, even though it was as dark as 3 a.m. outside and I was in general in a feel-sorry-for-myself mood. 

And, I kid you not, I woke up and the first thing I thought was, "I need a McDonald's sausage biscuit."

Can you see how I have problems losing weight?

But...no sausage biscuit for me today. It was all Fiber One and a lean pocket and sandwich thins and Wendy's chili and a baked potato (not all for breakfast!...now that would make me fatty, and remember the sign...? no fatties). 

Baby girl will be 9 months old in about a month. What I wouldn't give to see those last baby fat lbs melt away just in time for the holidays...and just in time for me to celebrate having my baby girl outside of me for as long as she was on the inside. 

No fatties...you hear? 

GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, ASHLEY!

Oh, hiiiiiiii.

Do you know that I have started a mental list (soon to be a physical, paper list) of all the blog entries I need to write? Such items on the list include why politicians suck, and therefore the education system sucks, my anxiety about the big RESIDENCY decision and how that is going to end up screwing me no matter how it shakes out, and my obsession with Diet Coke. But for now...I choose to write about my big, fat ass.

I am in a lazy slump. I have started putting on my hibernating weight for the winter. My body thinks it is a bear. I am having a lot of difficulty getting these last 10 lbs off from the baby weight. I am getting discouraged and annoyed. I go to Zumba as much as I can, but sometimes I find it upsetting to go and check out all the bodies that look so good, rather than allowing it to motivate me.

I know I am just in a funk, and that if I really "wanted" to, I could do it. I know that it is my own decisions and choices that have brought me here today, but I just can't seem to shake it.

My friend Allison and I used to say that we were self-sabotagers. We intentionally screwed ourselves over in the weight-loss department so that we couldn't be happy. Am I still doing this today at 26.5 years old? Is there something holding me back and keeping me from wanting to be happy deep down inside?

Am I just a lazy loser, destined to be on Hoarders or Maury where they have to cut people out of their homes?

I suppose if I had to choose...I would choose Hoarders.

Skinny Jeans

Skinny jeans.

A concept as foreign to me as camping or playing chess or changing a flat tire.

(beats chest, drags knuckles)..."what 'er dose?"

I'm fat. I'm not looking for compliments. Don't talk me out of it. I am fat. I have successfully stalled in my post-baby weight loss, and I am now just sitting here at the weight I was before I decided to do something about my fatness two years ago. I put my mind to it and lost 20 lbs, but that also required me to run (A LOT) and eat (A LITTLE). I have the motivation, but do I have the time? the determination? the skillz?

Having a baby changes everything. This, I know. My life is so much better because of that little cheesy nugget, but I just can't let go of the fact that my evenings are totally sold out before they even begin. It is stressful trying to find time for the house, my husband, my daughter, my job, and then my super-size body on top of it all.

Gah.

I bought a pair of fat jeans in my first trimester of pregnancy so that I could wear regular jeans for as long as possible (I don't know why I was avoiding the maternity jeans for so long...how I WISH all my clothes now had a stretchy band holding them up instead of a button and zipper). Well, these fat jeans are now my regular ol' me jeans. They are the only ones that fit. And that sucks.

Someday, maybe, I will get my shit together and just decide I am tired of trying and I am just gonna do it. But for now, I am gonna focus on a different kind of skinny jeans.

The Extra Mile

For weeks, going on months now, I have been trying to burn off this stubborn post-baby weight. I am plateauing. It sucks. I wish I could break through. Unlike Giselle Bunchen, breastfeeding was not the ticket to losing all the baby weight. Such a shame because we are so alike in so many other ways... :-)

So in an effort to try and get back on track, I have been going to Zumba twice a week for an hour, and then I stay after and do an extra mile on the treadmill. I also try to get in to the gym at least one other time to do a longer run like 2 to 3 miles.

I try to run that extra mile extra fast (fast for me is like a 6.3 speed, which is about an 8 minute, 30 second mile) so that I can get home and see my baby. I also try to push myself to compete with the person on the treadmill next to me...unless that person's Luke. He ran a marathon, remember?

Running is something I never used to enjoy. Now the fact that I can run 3 miles at a time is pretty thrilling. It is so gratifying to know that you accomplished something that you set your mind to...which brings me to the October 5K I am going to do at Fort Ben! I haven't done a 5K since the May before I got pregnant, but this will be my third overall. I also plan to do the Jingle Bell Run in December. One great thing about living in Indy is there is a running event every month that you can sign up for.

So, now I am in "training mode." I hope to improve upon my old race time and get my new race time in 30 minutes or less (kind of like a pizza delivery guy). Hopefully as the weather gets cooler, I can run outside because there is a major difference between treadmill running and pavement running. Major.

A really super cool invention for runners (or people who want to be a runner) is the Nike Plus sensor. You put it in your Nike Plus shoes and it syncs up with your iPod to give you your stats as you are running...distance, speed, calories, time, etc. It tells you when you are almost done. It allows you to set goals and achieve them. I really like it...especially when the woman's voice comes on to say I am done! It's a really great $30 investment.

And, as always, running the extra mile can translate into other situations in life...not quitting when you're tired...not giving up when you want to....setting your mind to something and achieving it....it's a good thing.

Lighter...

...7.5 lbs lighter since about the beginning of May. I know, not necessarily the world's record for fastest or best weight loss...but it's something. Only about 12 more pounds before I am back to my pre-baby weight.

Man, I could go for a donut...

Ode to Zumba

You may have heard me mention Zumba before...and perhaps you thought to yourself, "What the heck is Zumba?" Well...lemme tell ya...

Zumba is a blend of latin dance (think cha cha, salsa, rumba, etc) and hip-hop/free style set to fun music, which can be anything from latin music to Shakira to Justin Timberlake...anything! I started Zumba at my Fishers gym over a year ago, and I haven't missed too many classes since! This is partly because of the instructors at my gym who keep Zumba fun and energizing and motivating. In fact, I love Zumba so much that I was still doing Zumba the Monday before Noelle was born (on Thursday), and I returned to Zumba when she was 3 weeks old.

I love Zumba for many reasons. 1) It's a great workout. I get sweaty and hot and feel very validated after the class is over. The 55 minutes go very quickly, and I feel like I am working every muscle in my body.

2) It's hilarious at times. I'm not being mean, because I am not the world's best dancer, but sometimes the sight of 60 different people's personal styles combining and interpreting one instructor's dance moves...oh my. I love to see little old ladies or sometimes men (the brave few who come) shake their booties or gyrate in the mirror (yes...I said gyrate). I also love to observe the outfits that people wear. I have seen everything from house slippers, to jean shorts, to dress shirts, to belly dancing belts with all the jingly things on them, to full on Zumba logo apparel, to daisy duke shorts, to authentic sweatbands across the forehead. It's truly a fashion show on any given Monday or Wednesday. It's also hilarious because at one point, there were about 4 pregnant women in there (including me), and some of the moves are just NOT meant for pregos...but we did them anyway!

3) The music is fun. Most of the music is in Spanish, and I like to make up my own lyrics because my 4 years of HS Spanish and my 1 semester in college just don't give me enough knowledge to interpret all of the words. It's fun to mouth the "words," knowing full and well that you don't know what you're saying and none of it makes any sense.

4) It's great body motivation. There are some people with rockin' bods in that class, and it is great inspiration to keep it going on the SLIM chance you could EVER look like them. You also get lots of practice trying out new dance moves...and when you are a bonafide white girl like me, you need all the help you can get.

5) You make friends. Because women are women, we tend to want to stand in the same place each class and only socialize with the immediate group around us, thus creating our own Zumba cliques. I am in one that's pretty cool. In fact, another "member" in the "group" includes Ashley, who was pregnant the same time as me, who actually ended up having her son the same day Noelle was born, just 45 minutes earlier! Pretty cool! Grayson and Noelle go to the gym childcare together now, and they are destined to be soul mates! The other girls in our "group" are so nice and fun...and thoughtful, too. They made us (other Ashley and me) diaper cakes before our babies were born.

So, Zumba...thank you for my twice weekly escape from life...for providing a place where I can shake what my mama didn't give me and not feel bad about it. I look forward to you each week and know that I am guaranteed to get a great workout and have an awesome time!

Regretnancy

This is my new word...regretnancy. It's mine...you can't steal it. It does NOT mean that I regret getting pregnant. No way. It DOES mean that I regret the daily Twix bars, bowls of ice cream, and McCafe Frappes I had in my 8th-9th months of pregnancy. Oh yeah, they tasted great at the time, but now I am left with the aftermath.

I gained about 40 lbs with Noelle. I lost 20 right away. Now I am left with the final 20. What sucks is that prior to getting pregnant, I had lost about 20 lbs over the course of 6 months or so by running and eating better. It took so long to get to that point, and now here I am, back at square one.

I wish I would have done better while pregnant. I now am less than a week from coming back to school and even my fattest of the fat pants barely button...and they look like shit on me. I guess sitting in sweat pants for 8 weeks helped me to ignorantly believe that I wasn't the size of a small cow.

I have made changes, especially over the last 2 weeks. I have been working out regularly and have finally started eating better (which is 95% the battle for me). In fact, I joined Weight Watchers online last week. I really love it so far and think it is going to pay off. I have lost 2 lbs or so in the first 5 days. I guess that's a start.

So, all my pregnant friends, learn from my mistakes. The weight is a million times harder to get off than to put on, especially now that I barely have time to brush my teeth.