Untitled (because I thought about it for 10 minutes and couldn't think of one)

Since mid-high school, Luke and I both have been on a set track. We have always had a plan, and we have always done what it takes to follow the plan. Luke has known that he wanted to be a physician as long as I have known him, which is well over 10 years. He knew he wanted to go to IU Bloomington, and he knew he wanted to go to IU Medical School. There was never any guess work...never any major decisions. He has not stopped and wondered for one second, "Where to next?"

My story is pretty similar. I wasn't sold on teaching until my senior year in high school, but after that, I knew it was Ball State for me, study elementary education, and convince Luke to want to marry me upon graduation.

Check. Check. And check.

We always knew this day would come, but surely it would be WAY far in the future, right? Surely we would be, like, close to 30 and old and not care about our lives anymore, right?

Well, we ARE close to 30 (me more so than him, due to my 9 month age "advantage"), and this day that seemed so far in the distance is now looming over us, just asking for a punch in the face. Not sure what I am talking about?

Decision Day for the Residency Match. Wednesday. As in the day after tomorrow. My chest tightened as I reread that last line, and not because it is a grammatical mess.

I never thought it would be this hard. I never thought that Muncie would even be an option for us, let alone an option we would consider choosing. I always thought it would be Indy for us, 100%...that our license plates would read NDORBUST (not really...that would be STUPID).

We l-o-v-e LOVE it here. I am sure I love this city way more than Luke, or way more than what is healthy. I love the shopping. I love the restaurants. I love the parks. I love the events. I love the scenery. I love the buzz of a big city. I love knowing that I have only begun to understand all that the city has to offer us as a family, and I am not ready to leave. I love our home and the memories we have here.

I have reached a point where I am so tired of being on this roller coaster ride...this "Guess what? I love ______________________ program and we are going _______________ for residency," and then hearing the polar opposite the next day. I finally get myself to come to terms with the choice he has made, and then he changes it on me again.

I know that I don't deserve the sympathy in this situation, but we have been in a complete state of anxiety and unsettlement for several months, and it is really taking its toll on me as a person as well as our relationship.

By Wednesday, Luke has to make the decision, and I have told him more than once to just make the choice and tell me which one he chooses...not because I don't care, but because I have reached that level of exasperation. I just want Luke to be happy so that our family can ultimately be happy.

SO-- who knows what state of mind I will be in on Wednesday, but I can only hope for relief and an end to all of the anxiety.

I suck.

I am totally aware that it has been 1 week since I last updated, and that sorry little update was just to tell you I was out of space on my blog. Pathetic, I know. Also pathetic are the people on My Strange Addiction right now...eating detergent and couch cushions. At least I am not doing that...yet.

I owe you a post on our newest nephew's birth, and our 2nd youngest nephew's baptism, and my McFatty DISASTER last week, and the planning for Noelle's 1st birthday party (in 3 weeks, AHHHH), and about how much I am loving my little photography business, and also about this BIG, FAT, NASTY ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM called RESIDENCY DECISION DAY that is HAUNTING OUR EVERY WAKING MINUTE AND EVEN OUR DREAMS...which happens to be on Wednesday.

Yes, all CAPS in my writing indicates a problem. I am stressed out, losing my mind, anxious, a smidge excited, and just a tad emotional, so I am gonna spare you and just update when I get a chance.

Also? Noelle crawled. AND took 6 steps BY HERSELF in the same 48 hours. Is she trying to send me to the "home" prematurely? I have a strict "One Milestone at a Time" policy to avoid giving the mama even more gray hair (yes, I have plucked my fair share of gray hair -- rhyme!).

So, I will leave you on the edge of your seats and provide you with many blissful updates very soon. Til then...enjoy the Nugget.

Out of space!

I reached my capacity on this blog for pictures...mainly because this blog is on the same account as my photography blog. Check it out at ashleyernstberger.blogspot.com when you get a chance!

But anyway, I was able to get 20 gigs of space for $5 from Google, so thankfully I don't have to go back through and take off any pictures. Woohoo!

Not so long ago

Not so long ago, she couldn't hold her head steady on her shoulders, use her fingers to grasp her pacifier or mozzarella string cheese, or stand on her pretty little feet. She couldn't say "ba ba ba" or drink from a sippy cup. Not so long ago, she didn't have seven whole teeth or a head of light brown curls.

Now-- here she is...11 months old today. She's minutes away from walking on her own (without the shopping cart), she wears white tennis shoes with silver glitter velcro straps, and she's just barely in 12 month clothes. Her legs are short like her mama's.

Oh...and she ate spaghetti at day care this week. SPAGHETTI.

I can't believe that in a few short weeks, we will have a little birthday party for this tyke. I know that this is now my life....watching the years go by and wondering where they all went.

Happy 11 Month Birthday, Baby! We love you!

McFatty Failure

Well...I have been putting this post off for a couple of days because I didn't want to face the reality of what as been going on in my life.

A whole lotta this...

And nothing of this...

Therefore...my graph this week looks like this:

Yep. Somehow I gained 2 pounds this week. Sucky suck suck suck. 

It must have had something to do with being home for 4 days due to snow & ice...as well as all that Pioneer Woman cooking I have been doing. Damn her and her affinity for butter.

I wasn't going to post at all...and I briefly considered lying and saying I just stayed the same...but I didn't. I wanted to be honest and admit that something must need tweaking around here because I have a big goal to reach by the time my vacation to Kiawah comes around in 114 days. 

You might be wondering if I have picked back up the fast food habit. The answer would be a big, fat, muffin top NOOOOOO! I haven't had a burger, fry, nugget, or anything of the sort from any fast food restaurant since way back in 2010. I am extremely proud of this. However, I must admit I have picked up a McD's Diet Coke several times in the past week. I feel myself being tempted and wanting to give in.  

Temptations are everywhere. At the store, I see donuts, chips, cookies, and other wonderful things that make me want to rip open the boxes and just devour the goods right then and there...National Geographic style.

So...I might have fallen off the wagon a little, but I am going to get back on and achieve this goal... because Heaven only knows how badly I DON'T want to be a muffin top in a bikini.

Finally! Crispy potato wedges!

I love looking for recipes online, and I love looking at the photos of the pictures. Food photography might become a new hobby of mine.

Anyway, what I tend to notice about the food photography is that my stuff never looks like it does in the pictures, especially when it comes to anything that is supposed to be breaded or crispy. Instead of golden brown and even-textured, my food usually looks like the breading is half falling off and not all the way done. Not cool.

However, I found a site that actually shows videos on how to make the food, which was particularly helpful when I wanted to make crispy potato wedges as a side to last night's dinner!

Here is watcha do--

Preheat oven to 425.

1. Get potatoes. I used 4 medium-ish red skinned potatoes (because that is all we had, and Luke didn't have his phone with him when he went to the store last night, so when I called him to ask for Idaho potatoes, his phone was actually ringing under a pillow on our couch).

2. Wash potatoes.

3. Cut potatoes in half length-wise, and then cut each half in half again, length-wise. Now you have four wedges per potato.

4. Put potatoes in a large bowl.

5. Collect 'yer spices. I used paprika, italian seasoning, and plenty of salt.

6. Dump spices on potatoes.

7. Drizzle olive oil on potatoes and then mix around the oil and spices so that each potato is evenly coated.

8. Place potato wedges on a baking sheet. Start them out laying on one of the cut edges of the wedges. HA that rhymed!

9. Bake for 20 minutes.

10. Flip the wedges to the other edges. ;-)

11. Bake for another 15-20 minutes or so.

12. Take wedges out and then flip to the skin side and just let them sit on the warm sheet for a few minutes.

13. Put on your plate and ENJOY! They were soooo crispy and flavorful and yummy! I will definitely, definitely make these again!

McFatty Monday (on a Wednesday...again)

We haven't had school the past two days (which really means that my Kiawah vacation is already screwed), but the little mid-week vacay has allowed me to catch up on some stuff around the house and on the Internet. My fingers are tired from all the web addresses I have been typing in and clicking on. I loooooove Internet window shopping. I have a whole post devoted to that coming soon!

Anyway, allow me to report on my McFatty status. I managed to lose a little bit more this week, which is a victory considering the fact that I wasn't very good about eating or exercising. The snow + Luke's ICU month really hindered my ability to get to the gym. However, like I said, a little more flubber is off of me, so I shouldn't complain or make excuses.

I have been tempted a few times over the past couple of days to swing through McDonald's and get some food. However, I have not allowed myself to do so because I am really worried that it will rip off the scab of my fast food addiction and I will be back at step one again. I don't want that, so I am staying away from it. I can't promise forever, all I can promise is today.

With our Kiawah trip officially booked (despite the fact that if I miss one more school day, I will be forced to either fly down alone or make the group move the entire trip back a few days), it is now more important than ever to feel good in a swimsuit this summer.