Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My First Doctor's Appointment

Hi, this is Ernie. Mom is letting me use the computer to recount my very first trip to the doctor yesterday. Mom and Dad have been a little annoyed with me lately because I have been peeing in their closets (my favorite one is the guest bedroom's!), and I even pooped on the rug in the laundry room the other day. I also like to pee in the bathtub. It's like my own personal toilet! I don't know why they get so mad at me! I can't really help it! I think I have an irritable bladder. I try to go to the litter box about 10 times an hour, and I scratch around a lot (mainly because I lost a toy in there at Christmas and I want it BACK!), but I just can't pee in there anymore. 

Anyway, Dad yells at me all the time, and Mom is getting sick of it. She always defends me and tells Dad that he can't just throw me outside. I mean, is he serious? I would never survive! I have my claws and all, but my tough sister Edna is the one who could protect herself. I have gotten outside twice in my life. One time was when Mom and Dad were in their apartment. I hid under Mom's car all day until they figured out to come look for me. I wasn't going to be wandering around outside all day! Are you kidding me? With all those Chinese restaurants around...? The second time was this past spring. I was really scared. I just hid under Dad's grill and cried until they found me. Needless to say, Dad, you can't just throw me out! I'll change...I promise!

Mom called the doctor yesterday to make an appointment for me. What a sweet Mom, she is. It was even Mom and Dad's two year anniversary yesterday, but they spent their night at the doctor with me. Which reminds me, I need to get them an anniversary card...

They had to put me in the cat carrier to get me to the doctor. This part, I hated. Imagine if you were locked in a room that was just barely bigger than you with teeny tiny peepholes and a cruddy old towel underneath you? I couldn't turn around. I couldn't get comfortable. I even felt a little carsick on the drive because Dad, for the first time in his life, drove like a maniac. I cried the whole way there, and they just laughed at me. They especially laughed when the carrier tipped over in the car. Ever heard of a seat belt? It's the law. Grrrr.

When we got to the doctor, I had to be weighed (10.75 lbs! Still skinny!), but after that...the RUDEST thing ever was done to me! The nurse stuck a thermometer in my butt! Mom tried to comfort me, but seriously,  it was humiliating! 

While we were waiting for the doctor to see me, I found a hiding place underneath the bench that Dad was sitting on. After the thermometer tragedy, I wasn't so sure about this whole doctor thing.

The doctor came in and Dad had to put me on the table. The doctor pet me and felt around in my belly, and then he even looked under my tail! Again...rude! He talked to Mom and Dad about me for a long time, using words I didn't really understand. I remember something about how Mom and Dad need to lock me in a room by myself with an empty litter box with no litter and make me pee in the box to collect my urine. They have to bring back the urine to the doctor to see if I have an infection or possibly a stone. A stone?! I don't want to be all by myself! I will miss my sister!

When it was time to go, I had to get back in that dreadful cat carrier. Mom kept saying I was a good boy, so that at least made me feel better. 

I am going to try not to pee in the closets or bathtub anymore, but if I have an infection, I can't really help it. If Mom lets me have the computer again, I will update after they collect my pee and take it to the doctor. Alright...let's get this pee collecting over with...


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